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  1. #1
    Registered mattyboy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    greenwood lake USA

    Post a wee bit o humor

    Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking
    like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and
    bruised and he's walking with a limp.
    "What happened to you?" asks Sean, the

    "Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.

    "That little ****, O'Conner," says Sean, "He
    couldn't do that to you, he must have had something
    in his hand.
    "That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."

    "Well," says Sean, "you should have defended
    yourself, didn't you have something in your hand?"

    "That I did," said Paddy. "Mrs. O'Conner's breast,
    and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."
    >> > > > > > > >
    >> > > > > > > > +++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Shamus, were
    stumbling home from the pub late one night and found
    themselves on the road which led past the old
    graveyard. "Come have a look over here," says Paddy, "it's Michael O'Grady's grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87."
    "That's nothing", says Sean, "here's one named Patrick O'Tool, it says here that he was 95 when he died." Just then, Shamus yells out, "Good God, here's a
    fella that got to be 145!"
    "What was his name?" asks Paddy.
    Shamus stumbles around a bit, awkwardly lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims, "Miles, from Dublin."
    >> > > > > > > >
    >> > > > > > > > +++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over. "So," says the cop to the
    driver, "where have ya been?"
    "Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk. "Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening".
    "I did all right," the drunk says with a smile. "Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"
    "Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a
    minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."
    >> > > > > > > >
    >> > > > > > > > ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. "Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya."
    "Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"
    "That's what I'm here to be tellin' ya, Brenda.
    There was an accident down at the Guinness
    "Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me..."
    "I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry."
    Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it
    happen, Tim?"
    "It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned."
    "Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me true, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"
    "Well, no Brenda... no. Fact is, he got out three times to pee."
    >> > > > > > > >
    >> > > > > > > > ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?" She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My usband passed away last night." The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"
    She says, "That he did, Father..."
    The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"
    She says, "He said, 'Please Mary, put down that damn gun...


  2. #2
    Charter Member #590 Charter Member Laveyman's Avatar
    My Boats:
    1998/2005 Eliminator 33 Daytona Twin 950 HP
    Join Date
    Dec 2000
    Corona, CA



  3. #3
    Gold Member Gold Member Iggy's Avatar
    My Boats:
    '88 Formula F-206 LS
    Join Date
    Jan 2001
    Kissimmee, Florida


  4. #4
    Registered nautigirl's Avatar
    My Boats:
    1995 237 PQ Stryker
    Join Date
    Sep 2001


  5. #5
    Team Dysfunctional Charter Member Hot Boat's Avatar
    My Boats:
    28 Scarab, Blown 850+ Hp
    Join Date
    Jan 2001
    PUTNAM VALLEY, Hudson River Valley


    If it aint broke .... I can break it....

  6. #6


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