G-Force

An English professor wrote the words,
"Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and
directed the students to punctuate it correctly.
The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing.

"TRANSLATING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = No

We need = I want

I'm sorry = You'll be sorry

We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to

Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

You're so.. manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious
by now

You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever
think about??

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a
good game on TV

How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're
really not going to like


TRANSLATING MEN'S ENGLISH:

I'm hungry = I'm hungry

I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy

I'm tired = I'm tired

Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

I love you = Let's have sex now

I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?

What's wrong = I guess sex tonight is out of the question

I love you, too = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex
now!

May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex
with you

Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex
with you

Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have
sex with you

Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have
sex with you

Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to
have sex with other guys

You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have
sex with you in the next ten minutes

Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am
a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me

I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I am gay

Risk Taker

soflgrl

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive

That can go both ways...

Red Stripe

euby

Shane

Offshore Addiction

Audiofn

traviss

HiPerf2000

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