If this is your first visit, please click the Sign Up now button to begin the process of creating your account so you can begin posting on our forums! The Sign Up process will only take up about a minute of two of your time.

Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Twitter
Results 1 to 8 of 8
  1. #1


    I just received a copy of the 2001 Darwin Awards. Since many people on this Board (including me) are keen supporters of Darwinism to keep the gene pool healthy, I thought I would post this year's award winners for all to see:


    It's that time again! The awards this year are classic. These awards are given each year to bestow upon (the remains of) that individual, who through single-minded self-sacrifice, has done the most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene pool.

    5th RUNNER-UP Goes to a San Anselmo, California man who died when he hit a lift tower at the Mammoth Mountain ski area while riding down the slope on a foam pad. The 22-year old David Hubal was pronounced dead at Central Mammoth Hospital. The accident occurred about 3a.m.,the Mono County Sheriff's department said. Hubal and his friends apparently had hiked up a ski run called Stump Alley and undid some yellow foam protectors from lift towers, said Lt. Mike Donnelly of the Mammoth Lakes Police Department. The pads are used to protect skiers who might hit towers. The group apparently used the pads to slide down the ski slope and Hubal crashed into a tower. It has since been investigated and determined the tower he hit was the one with its pad removed.

    4th RUNNER-UP Goes to Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently being disorderly in a St. Louis market. When the clerk threatened to call the police, Puelo grabbed a hot dog, shoved it into his mouth and walked out without paying. Police found him unconscious in front of the store. Paramedics removed the six-inch wiener from his throat where it had choked him to death.

    3rd RUNNER-UP Goes to poacher Marino Malerba of Spain, who shot a stag standing above him on an overhanging rock and was killed instantly when it fell on him.

    2nd RUNNER-UP "Man loses face at party." A man at a West Virginia party (probably related to the winner last year, a man in Arkansas who used the 22 bullet to replace the fuse in his pickup truck) popped a blasting cap into his mouth and bit down, triggering an explosion that blew off his lips, teeth, and tongue. Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap as a prank during the party late Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D. Payne. "Another man had it in an aquarium hooked to a battery and was trying to explode it. It wouldn't go off and this guy said I'll show you how to set it off." He put it into his mouth, bit down and it blew all his teeth out and his lips and tongue off, Payne said. Stromyer was listed in guarded condition Wednesday with extensive facial injuries, according to a spokesperson at Charleston Area Medical Division. "I just can't imagine anyone doing something like that," Payne said.

    1st RUNNER-UP Doctors at Portland University Hospital said an Oregon man shot through the skull by a hunting arrow is lucky to be alive and will be released soon from the hospital. Tony Roberts, 25, lost his right eye last weekend during an initiation into a men's rafting club, Mountain Men Anonymous (probably known now as Stupid Mountain Men Anonymous) in Grant's Pass, Oregon. A friend tried to shoot a beer can off his head, but the arrow entered Robert's right eye. Doctors said that had the arrow gone 1 millimetre to the left, a major blood vessel would have been cut and Roberts would have died instantly. Neurosurgeon Doctor Johnny Delashaw at the University Hospital in Portland said the arrow went through 8 to 10 inches of brain with the tip protruding at the rear of his skull, yet somehow managed to miss all major blood vessels. Delashaw also said that had Roberts tried to pull the arrow out on his own he surely would have killed himself. Roberts admitted afterwards that he and his friends had been drinking that afternoon. Said Roberts, "I feel so dumb about this." No charges have been filed, but the Josephine County district attorney's office said the initiation stunt is under investigation.

    Now THIS YEAR'S WINNER. (The late) John Pernicky and his friend, (the late) Sal Hawkins, of the great state of Washington, decided to attend a local Metallica concert at the George Washington amphitheatre. Having no tickets (but having had 18 beers between them), they thought it would be easy to "hop" over the nine foot fence and sneak into the show. They pulled their pickup truck over to the fence and the plan was for Mr.Pernicky, who was 100-pounds heavier than Mr. Hawkins) to hop the fence and then assist his friend over. Unfortunately for (the late) Mr. Pernicky, there was a 30-foot drop on the other side of the fence. Having heaved himself over, he found himself crashing through a tree. His fall was abruptly halted (and broken, along with his arm) by a large branch that snagged him by his shorts. Dangling from the tree with a broken arm, he looked down and saw some bushes below him. Possibly figuring the bushes would break his fall, he removed his pocket knife and proceeded to cut away his shorts to free himself from the tree. Finally free, Mr. Pernicky crashed into holly bushes. The sharp leaves scratched his ENTIRE body and now, without the protection of his shorts, a holly branch penetrated his rectum. To make matters worse, on landing, his pocket knife penetrated his thigh. Mr. Hawkins, seeing his friend in considerable pain and agony, threw him a rope and proceeded to pull him to safety by tying the rope to the pickup truck and slowly driving away. However, in his drunken haste/state, he put the truck into reverse and crashed through the fence landing on his friend and killing him. Police arrived to find the crashed pickup with its driver thrown 100 feet from the truck and dead at the scene from massive internal injuries. Upon moving the truck, they found John under it half-naked, scratches on his body, a holly stick in his rectum, a knife in his thigh, and his shorts dangling from a tree branch 25-feet in the air.

    Congratulations gentlemen! You've made the world a safer, smarter place!!

  2. #2
    Charter Member Charter Member Ted G's Avatar
    My Boats:
    Marlago 35 FS, 18 Neptune CC
    Join Date
    Jan 2001
    Edgerock Baby!!


    I think I just peed my pants
    Chesapeake Bay Powerboat Association

  3. #3
    Registered traviss's Avatar
    My Boats:
    1989 18.5 ft XLT powerplay
    Join Date
    Oct 2000
    On the river



  4. #4
    Registered User BAJA WILL's Avatar
    My Boats:
    Don't even mention the word boat
    Join Date
    Feb 2001
    Tampa, Indian Shores Beach


    Nothing surprises me, I actually read in the News Paper, about the arrow in the guys head, had apicture of him w/out arrow. I hate to laugh at some ones tradgety but damn. How dumb can you be.

  5. #5
    Neno the mind boggler VIP Member glassdave's Avatar
    My Boats:
    Batboat, 38 Scarab Thunder, 16 Sidewinder, 27 Magnum
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    toledo oh


    man . .i hope im never nominated for a darwin . .apparently you hafta be dead to win . .that was some funny chit nick . .course i have done my fare share of stupid stuff
    Throttles- Cleveland Construction 377 Talon
    08 OPA Class 1 National Champion
    08 Class 1 Geico Triple Crown Champion
    08 OPA High Points Champion
    10 OPA Class 1 National Champion ( happy now Ed! )

  6. #6
    Charter Member Charter Member 32fever's Avatar
    My Boats:
    37 Outerlimits & PowerPlay 185
    Join Date
    Feb 2001
    Granger, IN


    Hard to believe the winning one. I mean, who was there watching all this to tell about it?

    "Yeah, I saw the whole thing. I was really too busy laughing my ass off to help"

  7. #7
    Were doomed! Charter Member Wally's Avatar
    My Boats:
    Chris Craft Stinger 222
    Join Date
    Oct 2000
    Chicago, IL


    I heard that winning story about 4 yrs ago....makes me wonder if the rest are real or not! They are by far funny as hell though and i enjoy hearing them everytime!

    Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy horsepower. And I've never seen a sad person hauling a$$!

  8. #8
    Platinum Member Platinum Member rainmn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2001
    Manahawkin, NJ


    The funny coincidence is that half of the Darwin Awards stories also appear on the urban legends websites as well. The one about the guy with the rocket on the Impala comes to mind. I think that one was a past darwin award winner, and it was also proven to be completely false on an urban legends site.
    Either way, they are funny.

Similar Threads

  1. Darwin Awards
    By jrocket in forum General Boating Discussion
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 04-07-2003, 06:35 AM
  2. O.T. the Darwin awards,, we all love them !!
    By Chris288 in forum General Boating Discussion
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 03-27-2003, 04:31 PM
  3. OT - Darwin Awards
    By GRH in forum General Boating Discussion
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 10-15-2002, 02:13 PM
  4. Another one for the Darwin Awards
    By bajadude in forum General Boating Discussion
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 07-26-2002, 01:55 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:44 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.0
Copyright © 2016 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.1
Original Poster In Postbit provided by Original Poster In Postbit v1.0.0 (Free) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2016 DragonByte Technologies Ltd. Runs best on HiVelocity Hosting.
Copyright 2011 OffShoreOnly. All rights reserved.