Offshoreonly.com - Funny for today

Little Lucy went out into the garden and saw her
cat Tiddles lying on the ground with its eyes
shut and its legs in the air.

She fetched her Dad to look at Tiddles, and on
seeing the cat he said, as gently as he could,
"I'm afraid Tiddles is dead, Lucy".

"So why are his legs sticking up in the air like
that, Daddy?" asked Lucy as she fought back the
tears.

At a loss for something to say the father
replied, "Tiddles' legs are pointing straight up
in the air so that it will be easier for God to
float down from heaven above and grab a leg and
lift Tiddles up to heaven".

Little Lucy seemed to take her Tiddles death
quite well.

However, two days later when her father came
home from work Lucy had tears in her eyes and
said: "Mommy almost died this morning".

Fearing something terrible had happened, the
father shook the girl and shouted, "How do you
mean Lucy? Tell Daddy!"

"Well", mumbled Lucy, "soon after you left for
work this morning I saw mommy lying on the floor
with her legs in the air and she was shouting,

'Oh Jesus!!! I'm coming, I'm coming!!!' and if it
hadn't been for the milkman holding her down she
would definitely have gone, Daddy".
:eek: :eek: :D :D :D ;)