Offshoreonly.com - Another Funny for the day

A young guy out on the town with his mates spies the girl of his dreams across the dance floor. Having admired her from afar he finally gets up the
courage to talk to her. Everything goes better than expected and she agrees
to accompany him on a date the following Saturday evening.

Saturday night the man arrives at her house with flowers and candy. To his
surprise, she answers the door in nothing but a towel. "I'm sorry," she
exclaims, "I am running a bit late. Please come in and I'll introduce you to
my parents who will entertain you while I finish getting dressed. I should
warn you, though, they are both deaf mutes." With this she ushers him into
the living room, introduces him to her parents and promptly disappears.

As you can imagine, this is a little uncomfortable as both of the parents are
completely silent. Dad is sitting in his arm chair watching golf on TV, and
Mom is busy knitting. After about ten minutes of complete silence, Mom jumps
from her chair, pulls up her skirt, pulls down her knickers, and pours a
glass of water over her backside. Just as suddenly, Dad launches himself across the
room, bends her over the couch, and takes her from behind. He then sits back
down in his chair and balances a match stick in front of his eye.

The room is plunged back into eerie silence and the young man is shocked into
disbelief. After a further ten minutes, the daughter returns fully dressed
and ready for the evening. The date is a complete disaster with the young man
completely distracted by the on goings earlier in the living room.

At the end of the night, the girl asks, "What's the matter? Have I done
something wrong?" "No, its not you," he replied, "It's just that the
strangest thing happened while I was waiting for you and I am still a bit
shocked.
Well, first your Mother jumps from her chair, lifts up her skirt, pulls down
her panties, and throws a glass of water over her behind. Then, as if that weren't enough, your Father races from his chair, leans her over the couch
and does her from behind. He then sits back down and places a match stick by
his eye."

"Oh, is that all?" replies the girl. The man can't believe her casual response.
"Mom was simply saying, 'Are you going to get this a**hole a drink?' and Dad
was replying, 'No, f*ck him - I'm watching the match.'

:D :D