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Laveyman 02-08-2002 05:48 PM

Friday Afternoon Funnies?
 
Two Mamangement Theories for everyone to consider.

#1 A wild turkey was wandering through his normal neck of the woods when he came across a new clearing a local farmer had made. In the middle of the clearing was the farmer's bull, grazing away. The turkey was curious, so he went up to the bull and struck up a conversation about the clearing and the forest.
Turkey- "Nice clearing."
Bull- "Yep, sure is. My farmer just made it the other day."
Turkey- "I'd sure like to be able to fly up to the top of those tall trees."
Bull- "Ya know, my crap is full of super -energizing nutrients. If you start eating it, soon you'll be able to fly all the way up there."
Turkey- "Really!?!"
Bull- "Yep, Guaranteed!"

So the turkey wanders behind the bull and finds a fresh cow patty and proceeds to consume it. After two days of eating the manure, the turkey is able to fly to the lower branches of the trees. After a week of the manure diet, the turkey is able to fly to the middle branches of the trees. After eating the manure for a full two weeks, the turkey is able to fly all the way to the highest tree top.

The turkey is so excited about his new-found energy he yells down the the bull, "Hey bull! Look at me! I made it to the top!" Just about that time, the farmer steps out from behind a tree and blasts the turkey dead with a shotgun.

The management theory behind this one...BULL**** MAY GET YOU TO THE TOP, BUT IT WON'T KEEP YOU THERE!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

#2 A crow was just sitting on a telephone pole, doing nothing, when a bunny came along and started a conversation.
Bunny- "Whatcha doin?"
Crow- "Sitting around, doing nothing."
Bunny- "Wow! Can I do that too?"
Crow- "Sure! Go ahead."

So the bunny rolls over on his back, stretches out his legs and lays in the nice warm sun, doing nothing with the crow. Along came a fox and saw the bunny laying there in the sun, doing absolutely nothing. The fox promptly pounced on the bunny and ate him up.

The management theory behind this one...IF YOU WANT TO SIT AROUND DOING NOTHING ALL DAY LONG, YOU GOTTA BE UP REAL HIGH!

FA18Driver 02-08-2002 05:51 PM

:D :D ;) ;)


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