If you get the platinum package, you can have an aluminum briefcase full of white powder, a black friend with a funny, unrecognizable accent and drive a kit car with overdubbed Ferrari sounds. You can also get a sound-effects device to make your blown big-blocks sound just like outboards. Or is it the other way around. Anyway, all this for one low monthly fee. Plus, we'll throw in the phone AND you can date Sheena Easton.