1. Law of Common Sense
Never accept a drink from a urologist, nor a friendly handshake from a proctologist.

2. Law of Reality
Never get into a fight with an ugly person, they have nothing to lose.

3. Law of Avoiding Oversell
When putting cheese in a mousetrap, leave room for the mouse.

4.Law of Physical Displacement
Sometimes you are the dog, sometimes you are the hydrant.

5. Legal Rights
Everyone has the right to be stupid, some will abuse the privelege.

6. Law of Probable Dispersal
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.