more humor for a dreary day....
03-20-2002, 04:05 PM
#1
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more humor for a dreary day....
1) Over the hill, you pick up speed
>2) I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.
>3) If it weren't for STRESS I'd have no energy at all.
>4) Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
>5) Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
>6) I know God won't give me more than I can handle. I just wish he didn't
trust me so much.
>7) Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
>8) We cannot change the direction of the wind - but we can adjust our sails.
>9) Some days are a total waste of makeup.
>10) Do you believe in love at first sight - or should I walk by you again?
>11) If the shoe fits - buy it in every color.
>12) If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
>13) Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
>14) Going to church doesn't make you a religious person anymore than
standing in a garage makes you a car.
>15) Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
>16) If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried
before.
>17) My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
>18) Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
>19) It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
>20) For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
>21) If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
>22) Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
>23) A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
>24) Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
>25) A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
>26) Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist
change places.
>27) Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
>28) Junk is something you'vekept for years and throw away three weeks before
you need it.
>29) There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
>30) Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake
when you make it again.
>2) I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.
>3) If it weren't for STRESS I'd have no energy at all.
>4) Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
>5) Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
>6) I know God won't give me more than I can handle. I just wish he didn't
trust me so much.
>7) Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
>8) We cannot change the direction of the wind - but we can adjust our sails.
>9) Some days are a total waste of makeup.
>10) Do you believe in love at first sight - or should I walk by you again?
>11) If the shoe fits - buy it in every color.
>12) If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
>13) Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
>14) Going to church doesn't make you a religious person anymore than
standing in a garage makes you a car.
>15) Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
>16) If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried
before.
>17) My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
>18) Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
>19) It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
>20) For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
>21) If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
>22) Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
>23) A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
>24) Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
>25) A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
>26) Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist
change places.
>27) Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
>28) Junk is something you'vekept for years and throw away three weeks before
you need it.
>29) There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
>30) Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake
when you make it again.
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03-20-2002, 08:46 PM
#6
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Is it just me.....or as you get older does the ground get farther and farther away?? Picking up small objects is getting harder every day!!!!
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