Offshoreonly.com - Launch Ramp Comedy

Copied this off the Hotboat thread of the same name. Laughed so hard, I had to move it over here!! Hope there are more folks willing to laugh @ stupid things they have done or saw!! Enjoy

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here's a boatramp story I won't soon forget. Parker strip,summer of '78. I was making a dump trip with my black lab "Nasty". Nasty was sufferin from the 110 + heat so I decide to stop for a quick dip at the local launch ramp.(It used to be the Lakeside sub-division ramp,about 1/2 mi. south of Sports Valley) It was the middle of the week and no boats, so I pulled off to the side, let Nasty out and he hit the water for a swim. I shucked of my shirt and boots and joined him. We'd only been in the water long enough to cool off so I figured we'd better get back to work. Nasty wasn't quite ready to leave and I noticed the water had rejuvenated him quite a bit. In fact he was actin like a pup runnin back and forth at the waterline, challengin me to chase him.I was trying to walk out of the water, but the north side of the ramp was really slick and mossy and I lost my foot and slipped back into the water. Makin sure I wouldn't fall and bust my ass, I got down to all fours and decided to crawl past the "slick" area of the ramp. Nasty sees this and decides I wanna play. He charges back into water head on and stops 1" away.Nose to nose. His tail is "flagged" in one of those dominant male poses. I tell him "Don't you bite me sonofa*****" cuz he has that look. He goes past my head towards my ass to do that "I smell your butt, you smell mine" ritual and before I could move in the slime the S.O.B. HAD MOUNTED ME! Now this is a visual guys, here I am in 18" of water, slipping in the slime with a 90 lb black lab humpin me. I'm hollering commands and tryin to elbow him off of me,but I keep slippin and by now his dew claws have stuck into my belly (figured out what those are for). Next thing I remember is a horn honk and lookin up to see a pickup loaded with little kids in the bed with a boat in tow, ready to back down the ramp. The driver hollers out "Whenever you two are done"!

Author unknown