Offshoreonly.com - Monday funny!

True story..... This guy has no equal!!!Possibly the funniest story in
> a long while. This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was
> printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers'
> Compensation board. This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have
> received a Darwin Award for sure....
> ---------------------
>
> Dear Sir "I am writing in response to your request for additional
> information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor
> planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller
> explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.
>
> I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working
> alone on the roof of a new six-storey building. When I completed my
> work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed
> later were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs. Rather than
> carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by
> using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the
> sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof,
> swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down
> and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of
> the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that
> I weigh 135lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so
> suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope.
> Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the
> building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which
> was now proceeding downward at an equal, impressive speed. This
> explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar
> bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only
> slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers
> of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately
> by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold
> tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience vertigo. At
> approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the
> ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight
> of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you
> again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down
> the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met
> the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles,
> broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.
> Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel
> seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile
> of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.
> I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in
> pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and
> let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its
> journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.
> I hope this answers your inquiry.