Dateline San Diego Sun Coaster News:
Famed Mexican exporter Gonzales "Chico" Gonzales Gonzales set a new record on the 800 mile run from Cabo San Lucas, Baja, Mexico to San Diego, California USA. "Chico", as he is known to INS agents all over the USA, accomplished the feat in 11 hrs flat for a speed average of 72.72 mph.
He deflected questions about the size and manufacture of his boat and continuously pleaded "no comprende" after the questions turned to engine type and power. However Mr. Gonzales became very fluent in English when reporters pressed him for the source of "official recognition" for his record. "I just send a check to SBI...it's a done deal!" he shouted before running into a nearby Catholic Church and claiming asylum.
An enterprising boating reporter, Eric Crouse Trulio, immediately donned a nun's habit and entered the sanctuary where Mr. Gonzales sat feasting on tacos and enchiladas. After a short discussion and believing that the nun had made a vow of silence, Chico offered that he actually had made the "run" in 11 hours. The reporter/nun gently pressed him for details as to what equipment he used in the attempt. "Nike I only juse Nike stuff!" he stated. The reporter, somewhat confused, asked what kind of boats did Nike make?
"Boats, dey don't make boats....dey make running shoes seeester!!!". How else do you theenk I make da run?"
"You ran??????? on foot???????? at 72 mph??????" the nun/reporter asked. "Ju ever been chased by the Mexican Policia Seester???".... Ju be amazed at how fast ju can run weeth a bullet aimed at jour *ss!!!"
Highlights at 11