Go Back  Offshoreonly.com > General Discussion > General Boating Discussion
Cigarette Launches New Model!!! >

Cigarette Launches New Model!!!

Notices

Cigarette Launches New Model!!!

Old 12-22-2010, 11:45 AM
  #1  
Gold Member
Gold Member
Thread Starter
 
omerta one's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: LOTO
Posts: 2,964
Likes: 0
Received 6 Likes on 5 Posts
Default Cigarette Launches New Model!!!

December 22, 2010 Miami, Fl

Cigarette Racing, the worlds leader in high-performance boating unveils a brand new addition to their lineup. (I can't believe Trulio missed the scoop on this one???).

Cigarettes new model, the IBS TG will be available in both the 38 side by side and 39 staggered engine configurations. The meaning behind the designation IBS and TG refers to "Irritable Bowel Syndrome" and "Turds Gone".

Said Cigarettes Skip Braver,

"In respone to the underwhelming cry by landlubbing pool boys for performance boat features typically found in a Ritz Carlton rest room, we undertook this serious challenge and have responded with a new design that not only addresses the concerns of those suffering with IBS, but does so without sacrificing performance! We have redesigned our electric drop down bolsters seats into an electric flush bolster using light weight kevlar for strength while actually reducing the weight of the bolster! We creatively used the same electric motor from the drop down bolster for the flush mechanism. And we also came up with a ingeniuos solution for those nasty holding tanks. We designed a direct discharge system, aka the TG "Turds Gone", with the discharge right behind the first hull step the system will discharge turds at speed and with the air and water action under the hull it literally disinegrates them. Thus there is no weight lost to the holding tank, piping or a macerator system, and no crappy odor. With Mercury Racing engines now utilizing closed cooling there is plenty of water volume and pressure available to serve the TG system and its bidet like "no wipe" feature. Additonally since we no longer need our logo'd porta potty in the cabin we have actually seen speeds increase up to .0001 MPH at top end!"

Well there you have it folks, another trend setting statement from Cigarette Racing. Just think you'll never have to worry about having enough Tucks Take Alongs in your pocket or purse again!
Attached Thumbnails Cigarette Launches New Model!!!-top-gun-toilets-copy.jpg  

Last edited by omerta one; 12-22-2010 at 08:01 PM.
omerta one is offline  
Old 12-22-2010, 11:51 AM
  #2  
Correspondent
Correspondent
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 9,710
Received 2,694 Likes on 1,208 Posts
Default

And I was just about to make an angry phone call to Skip at Cigarette.
Matt Trulio is offline  
Old 12-22-2010, 11:54 AM
  #3  
Registered
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Somewhere in Ohio
Posts: 3,397
Received 21 Likes on 10 Posts
Default

Nice!
RT930turbo is offline  
Old 12-22-2010, 11:57 AM
  #4  
Registered
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Baton Rouge, LA
Posts: 2,794
Likes: 0
Received 1 Like on 1 Post
Default

Lmao
jmeng is offline  
Old 12-22-2010, 12:04 PM
  #5  
Registered
 
Knot 4 Me's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Central IL
Posts: 8,359
Received 742 Likes on 400 Posts
Default

LMAO! Poor Jup...
Knot 4 Me is offline  
Old 12-22-2010, 12:04 PM
  #6  
Registered
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Gaylord, Mi
Posts: 2,573
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

Originally Posted by omerta one
December 22, 2010 Miami, Fl

Cigarette Racing, the worlds leader in high-performance boating unveils a brand new addition to their lineup. (I can't believe Trulio missed the scoop on this one???).

Cigarettes new model, the IBS TG will be available in both the 38 side by side and 39 staggered engine configurations. The meaning behind the designation IBB and TG refers to "Irritable Bowel Syndrome" and "Turds Gone".

Said Cigarettes Skip Braver,

"In respone to the underwhelming cry by landlubbing pool boys for performance boats features typically found in a Ritz Carlton rest room, we undertook this serious challenge and have responded with a new design that not only addresses the concerns of those suffering with IBS, but does so without sacrificing performance! We have redsigned our electric drop down bolsters seats into an electric flush bolster using light weight kevlar for strength while actually reducing the weight of the bolster! We creatively used the same electric motor from the drop down bolster for the flush mechanism. And we also came up with a ingeniuos solution for those nasty holding tanks. We designed a direct discharge system, aka the TG "Turds Gone", with the discharge right behind the first hull step the system will discharge turds at speed and with the air and water action under the hull it literally disinegrates them. Thus there is no weight lost to the holding tank, piping or a macerator system, and no crappy odor. With Mercury Racing engines now utilizing closed cooling there is plenty of water volume and pressure available to serve the TG system and its bidet like "no wipe" feature. Additonally since we no longer need our logo'd porta potty in the cabin we have actually seen speeds increase up to .0001 MPH at top end!"

Well there you have it folks, another trend setting statement from Cigarette Racing. Just think you'll never have to worry about having enough Tucks Take Alongs in your pocket or purse again!
I saw that you sold yours. Is this what you plan to get next?
drpete3 is offline  
Old 12-22-2010, 12:08 PM
  #7  
Gold Member
Gold Member
Thread Starter
 
omerta one's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: LOTO
Posts: 2,964
Likes: 0
Received 6 Likes on 5 Posts
Default

Originally Posted by drpete3
I saw that you sold yours. Is this what you plan to get next?
Too late...already have my next Cig in hand...maybe the next one though... I'm getting old and will likely need that feature.
omerta one is offline  
Old 12-22-2010, 12:09 PM
  #8  
Registered
 
vette131's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Slidell,La
Posts: 1,113
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

Originally Posted by omerta one
December 22, 2010 Miami, Fl

Cigarette Racing, the worlds leader in high-performance boating unveils a brand new addition to their lineup. (I can't believe Trulio missed the scoop on this one???).

Cigarettes new model, the IBS TG will be available in both the 38 side by side and 39 staggered engine configurations. The meaning behind the designation IBB and TG refers to "Irritable Bowel Syndrome" and "Turds Gone".

Said Cigarettes Skip Braver,

"In respone to the underwhelming cry by landlubbing pool boys for performance boat features typically found in a Ritz Carlton rest room, we undertook this serious challenge and have responded with a new design that not only addresses the concerns of those suffering with IBS, but does so without sacrificing performance! We have redsigned our electric drop down bolsters seats into an electric flush bolster using light weight kevlar for strength while actually reducing the weight of the bolster! We creatively used the same electric motor from the drop down bolster for the flush mechanism. And we also came up with a ingeniuos solution for those nasty holding tanks. We designed a direct discharge system, aka the TG "Turds Gone", with the discharge right behind the first hull step the system will discharge turds at speed and with the air and water action under the hull it literally disinegrates them. Thus there is no weight lost to the holding tank, piping or a macerator system, and no crappy odor. With Mercury Racing engines now utilizing closed cooling there is plenty of water volume and pressure available to serve the TG system and its bidet like "no wipe" feature. Additonally since we no longer need our logo'd porta potty in the cabin we have actually seen speeds increase up to .0001 MPH at top end!"

Well there you have it folks, another trend setting statement from Cigarette Racing. Just think you'll never have to worry about having enough Tucks Take Alongs in your pocket or purse again!
no more excuses for JS except money!!
vette131 is offline  
Old 12-22-2010, 01:14 PM
  #9  
Registered
 
wrinkleface's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Michigan
Posts: 8,022
Likes: 0
Received 1 Like on 1 Post
Default

Originally Posted by omerta one
Too late...already have my next Cig in hand...
What's in your other hand??????

I could C Pete drive'n w/ his big azz seated on a stool!!
wrinkleface is offline  
Old 12-22-2010, 01:26 PM
  #10  
Gold Member
Gold Member
Thread Starter
 
omerta one's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: LOTO
Posts: 2,964
Likes: 0
Received 6 Likes on 5 Posts
Default

Originally Posted by wrinkleface
What's in your other hand??????

I could C Pete drive'n w/ his big azz seated on a stool!!
I think she said her name was Connie.
omerta one is offline  

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service

Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.