Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As she sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears and promises to provide her with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions.
"First, you must wear a diaphragm."
Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?"
"You must be home by 2am. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."
Cinderella agrees to be home by 2am. The appointed hour comes and goes, and she doesn't show up. Finally, at 5am Cinderella shows up, looking love-struck and **very** satisfied.
"Where have you been?" Demands the fairygodmother.
"Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!"
"I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything."
"I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!"
"I can't remember, exactly...Peter Peter, something or other."
A man walks up to a woman in his office and tells her that her hair smells nice.
The woman immediately goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit and explains why.
The supervisor is puzzled by this time and says, "What's wrong with the co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"
The woman replies, "He's a midget."
(What you see, is what you get!)
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