Degradeing womens jokes !!!
)
11-22-2002, 09:37 AM
#14
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only joking ladies,
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early.
"Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know."
So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss! She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time.
"That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime."
"No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught."
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early.
"Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know."
So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss! She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time.
"That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime."
"No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught."
11-22-2002, 09:40 AM
#17
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How many women does it take to paint a wall?...
It depends on how hard you throw them.
One golfer tells another: "Hey, guess what! I got a set of golf
clubs for my wife!"
The other replies: "GREAT trade!"
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling
at the front door, who do you let in first?...
The dog, of course . . . at least he'll shut up after you let him in!
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?...
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine
will never be able to support you.
Did you hear they finally made a device that makes cars
run 95% quieter?...Yeah, it fits right over her mouth.
Marriage is a 3-ring circus: engagement ring,
wedding ring and suffering
Why do women have smaller feet than men ?
So they can stand closer to the sink
How do you know when a women's about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me...."
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't...there's a clock on the oven!
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.
What do you do when your wife comes out of the kitchen to
whine at you?
You make the chain shorter.
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman that just...won't...do...what...she's...told!
Why did the woman cross the road?
Who cares! What was she doing out of the kitchen???
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
It's not true that married men live longer than single men.
It only seems longer.
Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
Husband: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the
hallway light on.
Husband: Put your coat on love, I'm going to the bar.
Wife: Are you taking me out for a drink?
Husband: Don't be silly woman, I'm turning the heat off...
Why do Japanese Sumo Wrestlers shave their legs?
So you can tell them apart from the feminists.
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don't like
to interrupt her.
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced.
Why do women like intelligent men?
Opposites attract.
Most accidents happen at home. And the men have to eat them!
Some mornings I wake up grouchy...
and some mornings I just let her sleep!
What do you call a woman who has lost her mind?
A widow.
Bigamy is having one wife too many.
Some say monogamy is the same.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's
sex drive by 90 percent.... Wedding cake!!!
Marriage is not a word, it is a sentence - A Life Sentence!!
Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
Two mothers-in-law.
It depends on how hard you throw them.
One golfer tells another: "Hey, guess what! I got a set of golf
clubs for my wife!"
The other replies: "GREAT trade!"
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling
at the front door, who do you let in first?...
The dog, of course . . . at least he'll shut up after you let him in!
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?...
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine
will never be able to support you.
Did you hear they finally made a device that makes cars
run 95% quieter?...Yeah, it fits right over her mouth.
Marriage is a 3-ring circus: engagement ring,
wedding ring and suffering
Why do women have smaller feet than men ?
So they can stand closer to the sink
How do you know when a women's about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me...."
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't...there's a clock on the oven!
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.
What do you do when your wife comes out of the kitchen to
whine at you?
You make the chain shorter.
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman that just...won't...do...what...she's...told!
Why did the woman cross the road?
Who cares! What was she doing out of the kitchen???
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
It's not true that married men live longer than single men.
It only seems longer.
Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
Husband: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the
hallway light on.
Husband: Put your coat on love, I'm going to the bar.
Wife: Are you taking me out for a drink?
Husband: Don't be silly woman, I'm turning the heat off...
Why do Japanese Sumo Wrestlers shave their legs?
So you can tell them apart from the feminists.
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don't like
to interrupt her.
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced.
Why do women like intelligent men?
Opposites attract.
Most accidents happen at home. And the men have to eat them!
Some mornings I wake up grouchy...
and some mornings I just let her sleep!
What do you call a woman who has lost her mind?
A widow.
Bigamy is having one wife too many.
Some say monogamy is the same.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's
sex drive by 90 percent.... Wedding cake!!!
Marriage is not a word, it is a sentence - A Life Sentence!!
Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
Two mothers-in-law.
11-22-2002, 09:41 AM
#18
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A blonde was swerving all over the road and driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop.
The cop walked up to her window and asked, "Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?"
The blonde said, "I'm sorry sir, but wherever I go, there's always a tree in front of me and I can't seem to get away from it!"
The cop looked at her and said, "Lady, that's your air freshener!"
The cop walked up to her window and asked, "Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?"
The blonde said, "I'm sorry sir, but wherever I go, there's always a tree in front of me and I can't seem to get away from it!"
The cop looked at her and said, "Lady, that's your air freshener!"
11-22-2002, 09:51 AM
#19
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o.k. How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.
What do you do when your wife comes out of the kitchen to whine at you?
You make the chain shorter.
One golfer tells another: "Hey, guess what! I got a set of golf clubs for my wife!" The other replies: "GREAT trade!"
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in!
Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it.
Why were shopping carts invented?
To teach women to walk on their hind legs.
I date this girl for two years-and then the nagging starts: "I wanna know your name..."
Did you hear that they discovered that there are female hormones in beer?
Yeah, apparently they had 100 guys each drink 10 pints of beer. They all started running their mouths and driving lousy.
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't...there's a clock on the oven!
How do you know when a women's about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me...."
Why do women have arms?
Have you any idea how long it would take to LICK a bathroom clean?
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
So they can stand closer to the sink.
Did you hear they finally made a device that makes cars run more than 95% quieter?
Yeah, it fits right over her mouth.
How many men does it take to open a beer?None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.
What do you do when your wife comes out of the kitchen to whine at you?
You make the chain shorter.
One golfer tells another: "Hey, guess what! I got a set of golf clubs for my wife!" The other replies: "GREAT trade!"
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in!
Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it.
Why were shopping carts invented?
To teach women to walk on their hind legs.
I date this girl for two years-and then the nagging starts: "I wanna know your name..."
Did you hear that they discovered that there are female hormones in beer?
Yeah, apparently they had 100 guys each drink 10 pints of beer. They all started running their mouths and driving lousy.
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't...there's a clock on the oven!
How do you know when a women's about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me...."
Why do women have arms?
Have you any idea how long it would take to LICK a bathroom clean?
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
So they can stand closer to the sink.
Did you hear they finally made a device that makes cars run more than 95% quieter?
Yeah, it fits right over her mouth.
11-22-2002, 09:56 AM
#20
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Location: Indiana
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Sorry about the male-bashing jokes fellas.... 
I won't do that anymore here. I'll wait til someone starts a thread for that purpose. I've got some real good ones
As an apology, here's a site you'll really enjoy!
THE TOP 100 JOKES ABOUT FEMALES ON THE WEB
I won't do that anymore here. I'll wait til someone starts a thread for that purpose. I've got some real good ones As an apology, here's a site you'll really enjoy!
THE TOP 100 JOKES ABOUT FEMALES ON THE WEB
