Tbonepmp

A man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while he was gone.

A few days later, he received this report:

MOST HONOURABLE SIR:

YOU LEAVE HOUSE.
I WATCH HOUSE.
HE COME TO HOUSE.
I WATCH.
HE AND SHE LEAVE HOUSE.
I FOLLOW
HE AND SHE GO IN HOTEL.
I CLIMB TREE.
I LOOK IN WINDOW.
HE KISS SHE.
SHE KISS HE.
HE STRIP SHE.
SHE STRIP HE.
HE PLAY WITH SHE.
SHE PLAY WITH HE.
I PLAY WITH ME.
I FALL OFF TREE.
I NOT SEE.
NO FEE,

CHEN LEE.

Audiofn

I will give ya

Tbonepmp

LOST GOLF BALL...
A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.

Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.

Well, it was like this', said the man. 'I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our ball into pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it -- stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my big mistake.'

What did you do?', asks the doctor.

Well, I lifted the cow's tail and yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!

I don't remember much after that.