I've seen variations of this before.......Good One!!
I can't claim ownership of this. But I say whomever wrote this should be our next President!! -Long, but worth it.
I like big cars, big boats, big motorcycles, big houses and big campfires.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some governmental
stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts for
squirting out babies.
Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill
someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from
driving to the ball game.
I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, that is why there are no
girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts!
I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is an
I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers.
The only things I can think of that are truly
discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine,
Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things like
the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment
Television,or Miss White America and see what happens. Jesse Jackson will be
knocking down your door.
I have the right "NOT" to be tolerant of others because they are different,
weird, or tick me off.
When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the
population is black, that is not racial profiling, it is the law of statistics.
I know what sex is, and there are not varying degrees of it. If I received sex
from one of my subordinates in my office, it wouldn't be a private matter or my
personal business. I would be "FIRED" immediately!
I believe that if you are selling me a milk shake, a pack of cigarettes, a
newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of fact, if
you want to be an American citizen you should have to speak English!.
My father and grandfather shouldn't have to die in vain so you can leave the
countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours.
I think the police should have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you
threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word
"freeze" or "stop" in English, see the above lines.
I feel much safer letting a machine with no political affiliation recount votes
when needed. I know what the definition of lying is.
I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are qualified
for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks,
etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store,or any other business.
We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars
to defend their freedoms so that decades later they could come over here and
tell us our constitution is a living document and open to their interpretations.
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor. I know wrestling is fake, but so
are movies and television, and that doesn't stop you from watching them.
I believe a self-righteous liberal or conservative with a cause is more
dangerous than a Hell's Angel with an attitude.
I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to
make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system that's
better and put your name on the building. Ask your buddy that invented the >
Internet to help you.
It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a
parent to stand up to the kid and smack their little ass' when necessary and say
"I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't
pretend they are a political statement. And Please stay home until that new lip
ring heals, I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth as you serve me
I am sick of "Political Correctness" and of all the suck ups that go along with
it. I know a lot of black people, and not a single one of them was born in
Africa, so how can they be "African-Americans"? Besides, Africa is a continent.
I don't go around saying I am a European-American because my great, great,
great, great, great, great grandfather was from Europe. I am proud to be from
America and nowhere else.
And if you don't like my point of view, tough ****!
I've seen variations of this before.......Good One!!
Must be a republican and damn proud of it.
Sounds like "Uncle Ted".
think that's George Carlin...
I was thinking that was Ted Nugent.
I think you are right. I believe Ted Nugent wrote this. And man is he a great writer!!!!Originally posted by Gordo
I was thinking that was Ted Nugent.
Here's the Ted Nugent version. Sorry it is a tad long, but I really liked how he did it!
I'm a Bad American-this pretty much sums it up for me. I like big trucks,
big boats, big houses, and naturally, pretty women.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid-level
governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to
crack addicts squirting out babies.
I don't care about appearing compassionate.
I think playing with toy guns doesn't make you a killer. I believe ignoring
your kids and giving them Prozac might.
I think I'm doing better than the homeless. I don't think being a minority
makes you noble or victimized. I have the right not to be tolerant of others
because they are different, weird or make me mad. This is my life to live,
and not necessarily up to others expectations. I know what SEX is and there
are not varying degrees of it. I don't celebrate Kwanzaa. But if you want to
that's fine; I just don't feel like everyone else should have to.
I believe that if you are selling me a Dairy Queen shake, a pack of
cigarettes, or hotel room you do it in English. As of matter of fact, if you
are an American citizen you should speak English. My uncles and forefathers
shouldn't have had to die in vain so you can leave the countries you were
born in to come disrespect ours, and make us bend to your will. Get over
I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry butt if you're running
from them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word
'freeze' or 'stop' in English, see the previous line. I don't use the excuse
"it's for the children" as a shield for unpopular opinions or actions. I
know how to count votes and I feel much safer letting a machine with no
political affiliation do a recount when needed. I know what the definition
of lying is, and it isn't based on the word "is"-ever.
I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you qualify
for any special loan programs, gov't sponsored bank loans, etc., so you can
open a hotel, 7-Eleven, trinket shop, or any thing else, while the
indigenous peoples can't get past a high school education because they can't
I didn't take the initiative in inventing the Internet. I thought the Taco
Bell dog was funny.
I want them to bring back safe and sane fireworks.
I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice-T or
Marilyn Manson sang, but that doesn't mean I want to listen to that crap
from someone else's car when I'm stopped at a red light. But I respect your
I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than
working at Blockbuster or Jack In The Box.
I don't want to eat or drink anything with the words light, lite or fat-free
on the package.
Our soldiers did not go to some foreign country and risk their lives in vain
and defend our Constitution so that decades later you can tell me it's a
living document ever changing and is open to interpretation. The guys who
wrote it were light years ahead of anyone today, and they meant what they
said - now leave the document alone, or there's going to be trouble.
I don't hate the rich. I help the poor. I know wrestling is fake. I've never
owned, or was a slave, and a large percentage of our forefathers weren't
wealthy enough to own one either. Please stop blaming me because some prior
white people were idiots - and remember, tons of white, Indian, Chinese, and
other races have been enslaved too - it was wrong for every one of them.
I believe a self-righteous liberal Democrat with a cause is more dangerous
than a Hell's Angel with an attitude.
I want to know exactly which church is it where the "Reverend" Jessie
Jackson preaches; and, what exactly is his job function.
I own a gun, you can own a gun, and any red blooded American should be
allowed to own a gun, but if you use it in a crime, then you will serve the
I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue
to make more. If it makes you mad, then invent the next operating system
that's better and put your name on the building. Ask your buddy that
invented the Internet to help you.
I don't believe in hate crime legislation. Even suggesting it makes me mad.
You're telling me that someone who is a minority,gay, disabled, another
nationality, or otherwise different from the mainstream of this country has
more value as a human being that I do as a white male. If someone kills
anyone, I'd say that it's a hate crime. We don't need more laws! Let's
enforce the ones we already have.
I think turkey bacon, turkey beef, turkey fake anything sucks.
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child-it takes a parent
with the guts to stand up to the kid and spank his butt and say "NO!" when
it's necessary to do so. I'll admit that the only movie that ever made me
cry was Ole Yeller. I didn't realize Dr. Seuss was a genius until I had a
I will not be frowned upon or be looked down upon or be made to keep silent
because I have these beliefs and opinions. I thought this country allowed me
that right. I will not conform or compromise just to keep from hurting
somebody's feelings. I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how
desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.
Yes, I guess by some people's definition, I may be a bad American.
But that's tough.
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