CJC

> >> THE SCORING SYSTEM REVEALED
>
> >
>
> > For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the Rules
>when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will
>help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of
>romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do
>something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes
>and points are deducted. You don't get any points for doing
>something she expects.
>
> > Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
>
> >
>
> > Here is a guide to the points system:
>
> >
>
> > SIMPLE DUTIES You make the bed.....+1
>
> > You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative
>pillows......0
>
> > You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.....-1
>
> > You leave the toilet seat up.....-5
>
> > You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty......0
>
> > When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to
>Kleenex.....-1
>
> > When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom.....-2
>
> > You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with
>wings......+5
>
> > In the snow .....+8
>
> > But return with beer.....-5
>
> > And no liners.....-25
>
> > You check out a suspicious noise at night.....0
>
> > You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing.....0
>
> > You check out a suspicious noise and it is something.....+5
>
> > You pummel it with a six iron.....+10
>
> > It's her cat.....-40
>
>
> > AT THE PARTY You stay by her side the entire party.....0
>
> > You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a
>College drinking buddy.....-2 Named Tiffany.....-4
>
> > Tiffany is a dancer.....-10
>
> > With breast implants.....-18
>
>
>
> > HER BIRTHDAY
>
> > You remember her birthday.....0
>
> > You buy a card and flowers.....0
>
> > You take her out to dinner.....0
>
> > You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar.....+1
>
> > Okay, it is a sports bar.....-2
>
> > And it's all-you-can-eat night.....-3
>
> > It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is
>painted the colors of your favorite team.....-10
>
>
>
> > A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS Go with a pal.....0
>
> > The pal is happily married.....+1
>
> > The pal is single.....-20
>
> > He drives a Ferrari.....-10
>
> > With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED).....-15
>
> >
>
> A NIGHT OUT WITH HER You take her to a movie.....+2
>
> > You take her to a movie she likes.....+4
>
> > You take her to a movie you hate.....+6
>
> > You take her to a movie you like.....-2
>
> > It's called Death Cop III.....-3
>
> > Which features Cyborgs that eat humans.....-9
>
> > You lied and said it was a foreign film about
> orphans.....-15
>
>
>
> > YOUR PHYSIQUE You develop a noticeable pot belly.....-15
>
> > You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of
>it.....+10
>
> > You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans
>and baggy Hawaiian shirts.....-30
>
> > You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one
>too.".....-800
>
>
> > THE BIG QUESTION She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
>
> > You hesitate in responding.....-10
>
> > You reply, "Where?".....-35
>
> > You reply, "No, I think it's your ass".....-100
>
> > Any other response.....-20
>
>
>
> > COMMUNICATION When she wants to talk about a problem:
>
> > You listen, displaying a concerned _expression.....0
>
> > You listen, for over 30 minutes.....+5
>
> > You relate to her problem and share a similar
>experience......+50
>
> > You're mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying
>"well, what do you think I should do?".....-100
>
> > You have fallen asleep.....-200
>
> > IT'S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH You talk.....-100
>
> > You don't talk.....-150
>
> > You spend time with her......-200
>
> > You don't spend time with her.....-500
>
> > You seem to be enjoying yourself.....-1000
>
> >
>
> > GAME OVER - YOU LOSE!!!

Iggy

No matter what it's a losing proposition.
No wonder she's always mad at me.

JUSTONCE

CJC: You are a man with great wisdom, never have I heard truer words.

Shane

Boy is that the TRUTH!!!!!!

kitten

lmao

ssu

thats a good one!!!!!!!

RCM255

Tom

BattleCry

I give that a five I gut still hurts. Hey, I think I just lost 5lbs.

kitten

...a little too close to home, still funny!!