Offshoreonly.com - New policy to get into Heaven....

>>It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change
>>the admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get into
>>Heaven, you had to have a real bummer of a day when you died. The
>>policy would go into effect at noon the next day.
>>
>>The next day at 12:01 pm, the first person came to the gates of
>>Heaven.The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly
>>said to the man, "Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your
>>day was going when you died."
>>
>>"No problem," the man said. "I came home to my 25th floor apartment on
>>my lunch hour and caught my wife half naked. She appeared to be having
>>an affair, but her lover was nowhere in sight. I immediately began
>>searching for him. My wife was yelling at me as I searched the entire
>>apartment. Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out
>>onto the balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by
>>his
>>fingertips! The nerve of that guy! Well, I ran out onto the balcony
>>and stomped on his fingers until he fell to the ground. But wouldn't you
>>know it,
>>he landed in some trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn't die.
>>This
>>pissed me off even more. In a rage, I went back inside to get the first
>>thing I
>>could get my hands on to throw at him. Oddly enough, the first thing I
>>thought
>>of was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the balcony,
>>and tipped it over the side. It plummeted 25 stories and crushed him! The
>>excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack and
>>died almost instantly."
>>
>>The Angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the guy did have
>>a bad day. It was a crime of passion. So, the Angel announced, "OK,
>>sir. Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and let him in.
>>
>>A few seconds later the next guy came up. The Angel said, "Before I
>>can let you in, I need to hear about what your day was like when you
>>died."
>>
>>"No problem," said the second man. "But you're not going to believe
>>this. I was on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily
>>exercises. I had been under a lot of pressure so I was really pushing
>>hard to relieve my stress. I guess I got a little carried away,
>>slipped, and accidentally fell over the side! Luckily, I was able to
>>catch myself by the
>>fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of a sudden this crazy man
>>comes
>>running out of his apartment, starts cussing, and stomps on my
>>fingers. Well, of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes at the bottom
>>which broke my fall so I didn't die right away. As I'm laying there face
up on the ground, unable to move, and in excruciating pain, I see this
guy push his REFRIGERATOR, of all things, off the balcony. It falls the
25 floors and lands on top of me, killing me instantly."

>>The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as the man finishes his
>>story. "I could get used to this new policy," he thinks to himself.
>>"Very well," the Angel announces. "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven,"
>>and he lets the man enter.
>>
>>A few seconds later, a third man comes up to the gate. The angel says,
>>"Please tell me how you died."
>>
>>The third man says, "OK, picture this. I'm naked, hiding inside a
>>refrigerator..."