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  1. #1
    Registered dockrocker's Avatar
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    May 2002

    Thumbs up Any engineers in the house?

    Understanding Engineers - Take One
    Two engineering students crossing the campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

    The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."

    The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

    Understanding Engineers - Take Two
    To the optimist, the glass is half full.
    To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
    To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

    Understanding Engineers - Take Three
    A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"

    The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey, here comes George, the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him."

    "Hi George! Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

    The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

    The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said,"That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

    The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."

    The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"

    Understanding Engineers - Take Four
    What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
    Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.

    Understanding Engineers - Take Five
    The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
    The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
    The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
    The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

    Understanding Engineers - Take Six
    Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer." Just look at all the joints."

    Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections.."

    The last one said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

    Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
    Normal people ... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
    Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

    Understanding Engineers - Take Eight
    An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.

    The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because the passion and mystery he found there.

    The engineer said, "I like both."
    "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done."

    Understanding Engineers - Take Nine
    An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

    He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."

    The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."

    Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

    The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

  2. #2
    Registered Frequency's Avatar
    My Boats:
    '91 Carbon 70 Cafe, 3370 Pursuit
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    Aug 2001
    Peoria, IL & FMB, FL
    I should be REALLY mad

    But, it's sooooo TRUE!

  3. #3
    Registered PhantomChaos's Avatar
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    Dec 2000
    Bell Canyon, CA
    Good stuff!!!

  4. #4
    Official OSO boat whore Charter Member
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    Oct 2000
    Mequon, WI

  5. #5
    Registered groove's Avatar
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    Aug 2002
    Thanks for the chuckle.

  6. #6
    Registered Jolley's Avatar
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    Jan 2002
    Cass Lake Michigan


    Very TRUE !!! I get enough of that sort 'o' thing around here all day long LOL

  7. #7
    Registered Rambunctious's Avatar
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    95 Formula 336 SR1 525SC's
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    Jul 2001
    Holland, Mich
    hey!! I resemble that remark!!!

  8. #8
    Platinum Member Platinum Member CigDaze's Avatar
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    Jun 2001
    St. Petersburg, FL
    And the engineer with a boat says "If it aint broke, it doesn't have enough horsepower"

  9. #9
    Registered dkwestern's Avatar
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    33' Powerplay triple 2.5's
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    Mar 2002
    Lake St. Clair
    Thats good stuff, i should be pissed too, but i think i will print it out and pass it on.

  10. #10
    Registered Quality Time's Avatar
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    2005, Sunsation, Dominator
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    Apr 2002
    Yep, before I went to college I couldn't spell engineer, now I are one!

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