Offshoreonly.com - Anybody need one of these?

APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS

Name of Boy friend/Fiance/Husband:_______________________

I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the following period:

Date: Time of departure: Time of return NOT to exceed:

Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated below, at the stated times. I agree to refrain
from hitting on or flirting with other women. I shall not even speak to another female, except as expressly permitted in writing
below. I will not turn off my mobile after two pints, nor shall I consume above the allowed volume of alcohol without first phoning for a taxi AND calling you for a verbal waiver of said alcohol allowance. I understand that even if permission is granted to go out, my girlfriend/fiance/wife retains the right to be pissed off with me the following week for no valid reason whatsoever.

Amount of alcohol allowed (units)
Beer______ Wine______ Liquor _____ Total _______

Locations to be visited:

Location:____________________ From:_________ To:_______

Location:____________________ From:_________ To:_______

Location:____________________ From:_________ To:_______

Females with whom conversation is permitted:____________________

IMPORTANT -STRIPPER CLAUSE: Notwithstanding the female contact permitted above, I promise to refrain from
coming within one hundred (100) feet of a stripper or exotic dancer. Violation of this Stripper Clause shall be grounds
for immediate termination of the relationship.

I acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in our relationship, and I agree it's not me. I promise to abide by
your rules & regulations. I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in chocolates & flowers. You reserve the right to
obtain and use my credit cards whenever you wish to do so. I hereby promise to take you to a Michael Bolton concert, should I
not return home by the approved time. On my way home, I will not pick a fight with any stranger, nor shall I conduct in depth
discussions with the said entity. Upon my return home, I promise not to urinate anywh-ere other than in the toilet. In addition, I
will refrain from waking you up, breathing my vile breath in your face, and attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit.

I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none compared to myBETTERhalf), the above information is
correct.
Signed -Boyfriend/Fiance/Husband:_______________________

Request is: APPROVED______ DENIED__________

This decision is not negotiable. If approved, cut permission slip below and carry at all times.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Permission for my boyfriend/fiance/husband to be away for the following period of time:

Date: Time of departure: Time of return:

Signed -Girlfriend/Fiance/Wife:_________