A letter from Bob
It is important for men to remember that as women grow older it becomes harder for them
to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as they did when they were younger.
When men notice this, they should try not to yell.
Let me relate how I handle the situation.
When I got laid off from my consulting job and took "early retirement" in September,
it became necessary for Nancy to get a full-time job, both for extra income and
for health benefits that we need.
It was shortly after she started working that I noticed that she was beginning to
show her age.
I usually get home from fishing or hunting about the same time she gets home from work.
Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says that she has to
rest for half an hour or so before she starts supper.
I try not to yell, instead I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she
finally does get supper on the table.
She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating.
It is now not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after supper.
I do what I can by reminding her several times each evening that they aren't cleaning
I know she appreciates this, as it does seem to help her get them done before she
goes to bed.
Now that she is older she seems to get tired so much more quickly.
Our washer and dryer are in the basement. Sometimes she says she just can't make
another trip down those steps.
I don't make a big issue of this. As long as she finishes up the laundry the
next evening I am willing to overlook it.
Not only that, but unless I need something ironed to wear to the Monday lodge meeting
or to Wednesday's or Saturday's poker club or to Tuesday's or Thursday's bowling or
something like that, I will tell her to wait until the next evening to do the ironing.
This gives her little more time to do some of those odds and ends things like shampooing
the dog, vacuuming or dusting.
Also, if I have had a really good day fishing, this allows her to gut and scale the fish at
a more leisurely pace.
Nancy is starting to complain a little occasionally.
For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills
during her lunch hour.
In spite of her complaining, I continue to try to offer encouragement.
I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days.
That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely
now and then wouldn't hurt her any, if you know what I mean.
When doing simple jobs she seems to think she needs more rest periods.
She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard.
I try not to embarrass her when she needs these little extra rest breaks.
I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just
sit for a while.
I tell her that as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me
and take her break by the hammock so she can talk with me until I fall asleep.
I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Nancy on a daily basis.
I'm not saying that the ability to show this much consideration is easy.
Many men will find it difficult.
Some will find it impossible.
No one knows better than I do how frustrating women can become as they get older.
However, guys, even if you just yell at your wife a little less often because of this
article, I will consider that writing it was worthwhile.
P.S. Three months after writing this letter :
Bob's funeral was on Saturday, January 25th,
Nancy was acquitted Monday, January, 27th.
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