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  1. #1
    Registered Shorgasm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2001
    On the back of a chicks M3..If you're gonna ride my ass at least pull my hair!!

    So I was thinking of writing a letter to my EX the *****!

    LMAO, letter to an EX

    Dear Jennifer:
    I know the counsellor said we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore.

    The day you left, l swore I'd never talk to you again.

    But that was just the wounded little boy in me talking.

    Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. l guess my pride needed that.

    But now I see that my pride's cost me a lot of things.

    I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about looking bad anymore. l don't care who makes the first move as long as one of us does. Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this is what my heart says...

    "There's no one like you,Jen."

    I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they're not you. They're not even close.

    Two weeks ago, I met this girl at the Lollipop's and brought her home with me. I don't say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation. She was young, Jen, maybe 19, with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. **** you wouldn't believe and an butt like a tortoise shell.

    Every man's dream, right?

    But as I sat on the couch being blown by this coed, I thought, look at the stuff we've made important in our lives. It's all so surface. What does a perfect body mean?

    Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes.

    But you see what I'm getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive slightly coke addicted Jennifer? I doubt it. And I'd never really thought of that before. I don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little.

    Later, after I'd tossed her about a quart of throat yogurt, I found myself thinking, "Why do I feel so drained and empty?"

    It wasn't just her flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but something else. Some niggling feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete? And then it hit me. It didn't feel the same because you weren't there, Jen, to watch and suck you pay up your nose.

    Do you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without you, baby. Jesus, Jen, I'm just going crazy without you. And everything I do just reminds me of you.

    Do you remember Carol, that single mum we met at Mt.Sinai Baptist Church? Well, she drops by last week with a pan of lasagne.She said she figured I wasn't eating right without a woman around. I didn't know what she meant till later, but that's not the real story. Anyway, we have a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know we're kissing in our old bedroom. And this broad's a total monster in the sack. She's giving me everything, you know like a real woman does when she's not hung up about God and her career and whether the kids can hear us.

    And all of a sudden she spots that tilting mirror on your mother's old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we can watch ourselves. And it's totally hot, but it makes me sad too 'Cause I can't help thinking, "Why didn't Jennifer ever put the mirror on the floor?

    We've had this old vanity for, what, 2 years, and we never used it as a sex aid." (Some of this I thought about later.) You know what I mean? What happened to our spontaneity? You get so caught up in the routine of a relationship and you just lose sight of each other. And then you lose yourself.

    That's the saddest part of all for me.

    But I keep thinking we can get it back. I know we can, because I only want this stuff with you. Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Danielle's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on her shoulders. She's been a real friend to me during this painful time. She's given me lots of good counsel about you and about women in general. (She's pulling for us to get back together, Jen. She really is.)

    So we're drinking in the hot tub and talking about happier times.

    Here's this hot girl with the same DNA as you (although, let's face it, she got an extra helping of the sexy gene) and all I can do is think of how much she looks like you when you were 18. And that just about makes me cry.

    And then it turns out Danielle's really into the whole anal* thing and that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it. And how that probably fuelled some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside the steaming hot Dutch oven of your sister's cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you? It's true, baby.

    In your heart you know it.

    Don't you think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances and start fresh? I think we can. I keep thinking that I think if you'd just try it, I wouldn't have to pressure you so much. Because who needs all that bitterness, Jen? It just tears us apart. And I can't be apart from you.

    Because I love you, God help me but I do.


    So.........whatta think.stamp and mail...or does it need more work?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Platinum Member CigDaze's Avatar
    My Boats:
    Cigarette 35 Cafe Racer
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    St. Petersburg, FL
    Dude, that friggin' awesome!
    I think it will be highly effective.

  3. #3
    Registered NASTY HABIT's Avatar
    My Boats:
    just a filter
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    need a stamp ??

  4. #4
    Registered HyperBaja's Avatar
    My Boats:
    1990 Baja 190 DSR
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Lewis Center, Ohio
    Im sure she will come crawling back to you now! Im sure it isnt a type of harassment or anything.

  5. #5
    Registered Shorgasm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2001
    On the back of a chicks M3..If you're gonna ride my ass at least pull my hair!!
    Believe me when I tell I want NOTHING to do with Jennifer the red-nosed reindeer.

    Speed up a touch little buddy!......"sighs"........

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2001
    ST. Louis, MO, USA
    Well if you dont send it to her, maybe Penthouse Forum will take it.

  7. #7
    Neno the mind boggler VIP Member glassdave's Avatar
    My Boats:
    Batboat, 38 Scarab Thunder, 16 Sidewinder, 27 Magnum
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    toledo oh
    that is too funny . . . sent it . . send it now
    Throttles- Cleveland Construction 377 Talon
    08 OPA Class 1 National Champion
    08 Class 1 Geico Triple Crown Champion
    08 OPA High Points Champion
    10 OPA Class 1 National Champion ( happy now Ed! )

  8. #8
    VIP Member VIP Member Back4More's Avatar
    My Boats:
    353 Fastech
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Lake Michigan
    Dam, Thats thats great.
    Send it Priority Mail so she has to sign for it.

  9. #9
    My Boats:
    Baja Force 235
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Westport, Kentucky
    Good to hear your back and on top so to speak. Remember the old days when we were all going to pitch in and pool some coin for Nickslick to fix his boat? All sorts of question about who was going to keep tabs and so on. Let me be the first to PayPal ya a penny towards the stamp!

  10. #10
    My Boats:
    1999 Spectre 36
    Join Date
    Oct 2000
    Fells Point MD
    You should send it to her and her parents, her siblings, her aunts and uncles, hell, send it anyone she ever met and have some real fun.

    Oh yeah, I almost forgot, sent pictures too

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