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You Know Your Boats Too Fast/or has too much horsepower When..

Old 12-15-2003, 10:36 AM
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Talking You Know Your Boats Too Fast/or has too much horsepower When..

I found this on a truck forum i'm on and modified it a bit

You Know Your Boats Too Fast/Or has too much horsepower When..

1. The noise test nazi guy starts laughing as soon as you pull onto the launch ramp.

2. Your 'significant other' is afraid to drive your boat.

3. You are afraid to drive your boat.

4. You spend more on engine accesories than on food.

5. You spend more on boat insurance than on house payments.

6. You look in a water patrol boat and see a picture of your boat taped to the dash.

7. You throw your underwear in the garbage rather than the hamper.

8. You have to go to the local race track to buy gas.

19. Your mechanic names the new wing of his shop after you.

10. You measure the fuel you use in "gallons per mile".

11. Your engine idles at 2800 rpm.

12. You're tempted to wear your life jacket just to drive to the office.

13. You arrive somewhere before you left.

14. You get pulled over for doing 115 in a no wake zone but the cops will let you go if "they can look under the hatch."

15. You remove the $2000 stereo system to save 6 lb. of weight.

16. You are not allowed to run in the APBA/SBI.

17. You get an anonymous phone call asking if you are interested in being in a modified Cannonball Run.

18. Your face looks like you are riding a NASA centrifuge when you drive the boat.

19. Your 'significant other' won't even ride in the boat.

20. There is no possible way to "sneak out" of your marina at 4 am.

21. Your pets scramble for their hiding spots as soon as the bilge blower is turned on. (Pets, and all the neighbors...)

22. Family photos throughout the house are replaced with life-sized posters of your boat.

23. Race Fuel is delivered to your dock in 55 gallon drums

24. You carry earplugs in your boat.(doesn't everybody???)

25. The only spot on the boat which receives any regular cleaning is the F-16 canopy's. (what else is there to clean???)

26. You find out that vinyl graphics don't hold up at speeds exceeding 150+ mph.

27. Young children cling to their mommies in fear when you round the corner.

28. Birds fall out of their nests from the rumble of your 5" exhaust pipes.

29. All the major outdrive makers are sending you free drives in hopes of endorsement deal.

30. The UPS guy took to taking Steroids so he could keep up with your shipments.

31. The Fed Ex guy had a nervous breakdown.

32. All the wildlife within a 1/4 mile radius around your dock got the HELL OUT.

33. The nearest Geological Seismic Surveying Station Operator knows your what marina your docked at

34. A booming voice greets potential passengers with, "That's right....you paid for the whole seat but you'll only need the EDGE.

35. The earth slows in rotation when your props hook up and you head east.

36. Your fuel pump flows enough to water a golf course.

37. Your compression's high enough you could run diesel fuel.

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12-07-2023, 09:05 AM
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SEEFORDS, what were they yelling about .. noise?

I was docked in the only place you can dock for $40/hr in $hitcago , libtards hang out on the stairs and drinkin their wine from the winery close to the water . There was a couple there with a small dog , I pre warned them that they should hang onto their dog it`s going to be a loud start , they dismissed me like whatever guy.
I said okayyyyyy. started up the boat and their dog freaked the hell out, knocked over all their wine glasses and tried to take off snapping the chicks arm pretty hard.
I F***ng told you !
liberals ...they think they`re just smarter than everyone.








Old 12-15-2003, 05:32 PM
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Good ones Wally.
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Old 12-15-2003, 05:41 PM
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wow pretty cool but I have a longggggggg way to go to get there!!!
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Old 12-15-2003, 11:23 PM
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I changed mine up a little.

http://www.offshoreonly.com/forums/s...threadid=65754
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Old 12-16-2003, 08:13 AM
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hehe.....dont know how i missed your post Strip we both must have got the same original list
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Old 12-16-2003, 08:23 AM
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Default Re: You Know Your Boats Too Fast/or has too much horsepower When..

Originally posted by Wally
I found this on a truck forum i'm on and modified it a bit

You Know Your Boats Too Fast/Or has too much horsepower When..



Your guardian angel can't catch you...
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Old 12-16-2003, 01:30 PM
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Very Funny. I am proud to qualify on some of those!

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Old 12-16-2003, 02:01 PM
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Default Oh Yeah!



Wally add "& alcohol" to #4

Great List

Others to add:

You list your Insurance agent as a dependent

The FAA calls you looking for your Boat #'s to reply to the neighbors noise complaint abouth the low flying aircraft

Your boat is on the cover of Hot Boat more than twice per year

Wannabe
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Old 12-16-2003, 02:24 PM
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It's all so true
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Old 12-17-2003, 04:09 PM
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To good to let it die this quickly.
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