Houston Superbowl
01-09-2004, 08:33 AM
#1
Houston Superbowl
If any fellow OSOers are planning to come to the Superbowl please let me know. Working for Budweiser I can hook you up on the hot spots of Houston. First drink will be on me. Also that isn't my picture on the hands free device thread!
01-09-2004, 08:34 AM
#2
HOUSTON TRAFFIC RULES FOR PEOPLE VISITING DURING SUPER BOWL XXXVIII, FEBRUARY 1, 2004
1. You must learn to pronounce the name of the city It is "Hue-stun," not "Ewe-ston," and definitely not "How-ston." The street named San Felipe is pronounced "San fe-LEE-pay," not "San Fi-LEEP" or "San Fay-LEE-pee."
2. Forget any traffic rules you learned anywhere else. Houston has its own version of traffic rules. They are called "Hold On And Pray." There is no such thing as a high-speed chase in Houston. We all drive like that.
3. All directions start with "Go down to Loop 610," which has no
beginning and no end.
4. You have the East, Katy, Southwest, North, South, Northwest, and Eastex freeways, which are actually I-10 East, I-10 West, 59 North, 59 South, I-45 North, I-45 South, and 290, but not in that order. Your job is to figure out which one you really want to get on, without any signs to tell you. God help you if you are in the wrong lane, or you will go around Loop 610 again, which is an endless circle.
5. The Chamber of Commerce calls getting through traffic "a scenic drive." It is if you love seeing wrecks and people risking their lives changing tires, running through pot holes, slamming on your brakes to avoid a collision, having people cut you off, seeing alot of people's middle fingers, and exhaust fumes.
6. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. The noon-hour rush is 11:00 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. The evening rush hour is 2:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m., sometimes 9:00 p.m. (or 3 a.m. during floods, which we call "ponding"). The teenagers take the streets from 9:00 p.m. through 5:00 a.m., and Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
7. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you WILL be rear ended, or at least cussed out, and/or possibly shot. When you are the first off the starting line, count to 5 before moving when the light turns green, to avoid being "T-boned" by crossing traffic.
8. Construction on every freeway, loop, and tollway in the city is a permanent form of entertainment as well as a source of delays.
9. Kuykendahl Road can be pronounced ONLY by a native Houstonian. (It is pronounced "Kirk-n-doll.")
10. All unexplained smells are accompanied by the phrase "Oh, we must be near Pasadena."
11. If someone actually has his turn signal on, it is probably a
factory defect and should be ignored.
12. All Suburbans have the right-of-way, unless you are driving an 18-wheeler or perhaps a Bradley tank.
13. The minimum acceptable speed limit on Loop 610 is 85 mph.
Otherwise, you will be stopped by Houston's Finest for impeding the flow of traffic.
14. The wrought-iron bars on windows in East Houston are NOT ornamental.
15. Never honk at the driver of a car with a bumper sticker that says, "Keep honking. I'm reloading." In fact, don't honk at anyone.
16. If you are in the left lane, and going only 70 mph in a 60 mph zone, the people who are passing you are not really waving at you.
17. If it is 100 degrees outside, then January 1st must be next
weekend.
18. The Sam Houston Toll Road is Houston's daily version of a NASCAR race.
19. When in doubt, remember that all unmarked exits lead to the state of Louisiana.
20. Don't get on Main Street unless you really WANT to be on Main
Street. Left turns and right turns are not allowed between the South Loop and Dallas (that's Dallas, Texas, not Dallas Street).
21. Don't get sick or injured. There are no parking spaces in the
Texas Medical Center for anyone but doctors.
22. You don't have to wait for an exit to get off the freeways. Just follow the ruts in the grass to the frontage road like everyone else. This is how Houston residents notify the Texas Department of Transportation where exits should have been built in the first place.
Y'ALL ENJOY YOUR STAY IN HOUSTON, AND COME BACK REAL SOON NOW, Y'HEAR?
1. You must learn to pronounce the name of the city It is "Hue-stun," not "Ewe-ston," and definitely not "How-ston." The street named San Felipe is pronounced "San fe-LEE-pay," not "San Fi-LEEP" or "San Fay-LEE-pee."
2. Forget any traffic rules you learned anywhere else. Houston has its own version of traffic rules. They are called "Hold On And Pray." There is no such thing as a high-speed chase in Houston. We all drive like that.
3. All directions start with "Go down to Loop 610," which has no
beginning and no end.
4. You have the East, Katy, Southwest, North, South, Northwest, and Eastex freeways, which are actually I-10 East, I-10 West, 59 North, 59 South, I-45 North, I-45 South, and 290, but not in that order. Your job is to figure out which one you really want to get on, without any signs to tell you. God help you if you are in the wrong lane, or you will go around Loop 610 again, which is an endless circle.
5. The Chamber of Commerce calls getting through traffic "a scenic drive." It is if you love seeing wrecks and people risking their lives changing tires, running through pot holes, slamming on your brakes to avoid a collision, having people cut you off, seeing alot of people's middle fingers, and exhaust fumes.
6. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. The noon-hour rush is 11:00 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. The evening rush hour is 2:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m., sometimes 9:00 p.m. (or 3 a.m. during floods, which we call "ponding"). The teenagers take the streets from 9:00 p.m. through 5:00 a.m., and Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
7. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you WILL be rear ended, or at least cussed out, and/or possibly shot. When you are the first off the starting line, count to 5 before moving when the light turns green, to avoid being "T-boned" by crossing traffic.
8. Construction on every freeway, loop, and tollway in the city is a permanent form of entertainment as well as a source of delays.
9. Kuykendahl Road can be pronounced ONLY by a native Houstonian. (It is pronounced "Kirk-n-doll.")
10. All unexplained smells are accompanied by the phrase "Oh, we must be near Pasadena."
11. If someone actually has his turn signal on, it is probably a
factory defect and should be ignored.
12. All Suburbans have the right-of-way, unless you are driving an 18-wheeler or perhaps a Bradley tank.
13. The minimum acceptable speed limit on Loop 610 is 85 mph.
Otherwise, you will be stopped by Houston's Finest for impeding the flow of traffic.
14. The wrought-iron bars on windows in East Houston are NOT ornamental.
15. Never honk at the driver of a car with a bumper sticker that says, "Keep honking. I'm reloading." In fact, don't honk at anyone.
16. If you are in the left lane, and going only 70 mph in a 60 mph zone, the people who are passing you are not really waving at you.
17. If it is 100 degrees outside, then January 1st must be next
weekend.
18. The Sam Houston Toll Road is Houston's daily version of a NASCAR race.
19. When in doubt, remember that all unmarked exits lead to the state of Louisiana.
20. Don't get on Main Street unless you really WANT to be on Main
Street. Left turns and right turns are not allowed between the South Loop and Dallas (that's Dallas, Texas, not Dallas Street).
21. Don't get sick or injured. There are no parking spaces in the
Texas Medical Center for anyone but doctors.
22. You don't have to wait for an exit to get off the freeways. Just follow the ruts in the grass to the frontage road like everyone else. This is how Houston residents notify the Texas Department of Transportation where exits should have been built in the first place.
Y'ALL ENJOY YOUR STAY IN HOUSTON, AND COME BACK REAL SOON NOW, Y'HEAR?
01-09-2004, 08:41 AM
#3
Registered
If any of you all are coming to the Super bowl I would advise taking a cab to the stadium. You don't want to mess with downtown traffic. All of the streets downtown are fouled up and they will remain that way forever.
Also you can come admire our new toy choo-choo train that is supposed to be called rail. We spent millions and millions on it and it has caused more headaches than anything else.
Roby
Also you can come admire our new toy choo-choo train that is supposed to be called rail. We spent millions and millions on it and it has caused more headaches than anything else.
Roby
01-09-2004, 08:48 AM
#4
Man Tom you're right on the money this morning 
Some people can't even realize how right you are...You forgot to mention that some of our freeways are now 5-6 lanes and rush hour still sucks
Don't forget to ride the light rail
Some people can't even realize how right you are...You forgot to mention that some of our freeways are now 5-6 lanes and rush hour still sucks
Don't forget to ride the light rail
01-09-2004, 09:02 AM
#5
Originally posted by 105mph_38_2003
Man Tom you're right on the money this morning
Some people can't even realize how right you are...You forgot to mention that some of our freeways are now 5-6 lanes and rush hour still sucks
Don't forget to ride the light rail
Man Tom you're right on the money this morning
Some people can't even realize how right you are...You forgot to mention that some of our freeways are now 5-6 lanes and rush hour still sucks
Don't forget to ride the light rail
01-09-2004, 06:48 PM
#8
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Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Clear Lake, Texas
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Originally posted by 105mph_38_2003
I'm in town now till Feb 11th...You going to the game?
I'm in town now till Feb 11th...You going to the game?
Any locals going????I think i'll just go watch it in your theater room!
