Quickie jokes and cartoons
05-12-2004, 01:31 PM
#23
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Difference between Men and Women taking showers.
How to Shower Like a Woman
1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned
laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If
you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
make mental note to do more sit-ups.
4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth,
leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage
shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint
conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil.
Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial
scrub for 10 minutes until red.
9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and
jaffa cake body wash.
10. Rinse conditioner off hair.
11. Shave armpits and legs.
12. Turn off shower.
13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray
mold spots with Tilex.
14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of
a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.
16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown
and towel on head.
17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any
exposed areas.
How To Shower Like a Man
1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of
the bed and leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife
along the way, shake your package at her making the
'woo-woo' sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your package and scratch your a@@.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Wash your face.
6. Wash your armpits.
7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water
rinse them off.
8. Make f*rt noises (real or artificial) and laugh
at how loud they sound in the shower.
9. Spend majority of time washing privates and
surrounding area.
10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt
hairs stuck on the soap.
11. Shampoo your hair.
12. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
13. Whizz in shower.
14. Rinse off and get out of shower.
15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on
floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
16. Admire package size in mirror again.
17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor,
light and fan on.
18. Return to bedroom with towel around your
waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake package
at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
19. Throw wet towel on bed.
1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned
laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If
you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
make mental note to do more sit-ups.
4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth,
leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage
shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint
conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil.
Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial
scrub for 10 minutes until red.
9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and
jaffa cake body wash.
10. Rinse conditioner off hair.
11. Shave armpits and legs.
12. Turn off shower.
13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray
mold spots with Tilex.
14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of
a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.
16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown
and towel on head.
17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any
exposed areas.
How To Shower Like a Man
1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of
the bed and leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife
along the way, shake your package at her making the
'woo-woo' sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your package and scratch your a@@.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Wash your face.
6. Wash your armpits.
7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water
rinse them off.
8. Make f*rt noises (real or artificial) and laugh
at how loud they sound in the shower.
9. Spend majority of time washing privates and
surrounding area.
10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt
hairs stuck on the soap.
11. Shampoo your hair.
12. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
13. Whizz in shower.
14. Rinse off and get out of shower.
15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on
floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
16. Admire package size in mirror again.
17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor,
light and fan on.
18. Return to bedroom with towel around your
waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake package
at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
19. Throw wet towel on bed.
Gold Member
05-12-2004, 09:03 PM
#25
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Location: Grand Haven, MI USA
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Hey, you got me all wrong, I blow snot on the shower wall and rinse it down, never in my hand, that is gross
Otherwise you got it but you forgot about playing with the package, just like shaving you know. Oops, this is not the Uncensored Section..nevermind.
Otherwise you got it but you forgot about playing with the package, just like shaving you know. Oops, this is not the Uncensored Section..nevermind.
05-13-2004, 08:17 AM
#26
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A lot of fact to this
A few minutes before the services started, the people were seated in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for an exit, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his Presence.
So Satan walked up to the old man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
"Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked.
"Nope, sure ain't." said the man.
"Don't you realize I can kill you with a single word?", asked Satan.
"Don't doubt it for a minute," returned the old man, in an even tone.
"Did you know that I could cause you profound, horrifying, physical AGONY for all eternity?" persisted Satan.
"Yep," was the calm REPLY.
"And yet you're still not afraid?" asked Satan.
"Nope."
More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Well, why aren't you afraid of me?"
The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for 48 years"
So Satan walked up to the old man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
"Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked.
"Nope, sure ain't." said the man.
"Don't you realize I can kill you with a single word?", asked Satan.
"Don't doubt it for a minute," returned the old man, in an even tone.
"Did you know that I could cause you profound, horrifying, physical AGONY for all eternity?" persisted Satan.
"Yep," was the calm REPLY.
"And yet you're still not afraid?" asked Satan.
"Nope."
More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Well, why aren't you afraid of me?"
The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for 48 years"
