Just tell Waterfoul the only Cigarettes he can smoke are the candy ones (a certain board member can help you out there), not to eat Dorritos on the boat, stop wearing his soccer shoes and for God sakes man, get him a sippy cup.
What I really hate: When rafted off people walk on the sun lounge and I have a swim platform. Common courtesy to use a platform if it's there. I've found one of the most difficult and pricey things on a boat is replacing cockpit vinyl. That's a probelm with boaters and non boaters alike.
So, if you're reading this and don't get it, WALK ON THE SWIM PLATFORM!