Offshoreonly.com - Monday Funny....gates of HE LL!

:D

The following is supposedly an actual question given
> on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term.
> The answer by one student was so "profound" that the
> professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet,
> which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of
> enjoying it as well.
>
> Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat)
> or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
>
> Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
> using Boyle's Law (gas
> cools when it expands and heats when it is
> compressed) or some variant.
>
> One student, however, wrote the following:
> First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is
> changing in time. So we
> need to know the rate at which souls are moving into
> Hell and the rate at which
> they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume
> that once a soul gets
> to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
> leaving.
>
> As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look
> at the different
> religions that exist in the world today. Most of
> these religions state
> that if you are not a member of their religion, you
> will go to Hell. Since
> there is more than one of these religions and since
> people do not belong to more
> than one religion, we can project that all souls go
> to Hell. With birth
> and death rates as they are, we can expect the number
> of souls in Hell to
> increase exponentially.
>
> Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in
> Hell because Boyle's
> Law states that in order for the temperature and
> pressure in Hell to stay the
> same, the volume of Hell has to expand
> proportionately as souls are added.
>
> This gives two possibilities:
>
> 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the
> rate at which souls
> enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell
> will increase until
> all Hell breaks loose.
>
> 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
> increase of souls in
> Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop
> until Hell freezes over.
>
> So which is it?
> If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa
> during my Freshman year
> that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep
> with you", and take
> into account the fact that I slept with her last
> night, then number 2 must be
> true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and
> has already frozen
> over.
>
> The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has
> frozen over, it
> follows that it is not accepting any more souls and
> is therefore, extinct...
> leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of
> a divine being which
> explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my
> God."
>
> THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
>
>