Originally Posted by mcollinstn(car related)
In Miami a few years back, I had left my cellphone in a crapper stall after a bad encounter with something I ate at a Cuban restaurant that needed to leave in a hurry. As always happens, the I got 3 important phone calls, and 2 unimportant ones, all while I was trying to oblige my impatient plumbing... Anyhow, I left the phone in there, got 2 minutes away from the bathroom when I remembered and dashed back to retrieve it. Of course it was already missing and probably on its way to be used to set up illegal activities... So the bottom line is that I was now in Miami and was phone-less. So the next day I had to make a trip inland to Hialeah and got a little lost. I looked for a pay phone, and stopped at a rundown gas station to fill up and make a call. The place was rundown but was very busy. I stuck the nozzle in the tank, and there was no lever latch on the nozzle, so I stuck my gas cap under the handle (which I do all the time). I went into the store to ask where the payphone was. The line was long and nobody was speaking English. I asked some guys standing in line if they knew where the phone was, and they spoke spanish or Cuban at me. I finally got the guy behind the counter to point outside. I went out and looked around and almost gave up when I finally saw the phone. I went to the phone and dropped change in, but it said my call was long distance. So I dug thru my wallet for a phone card and started over. I finally got connected and began to talk when I notice somebody is yelling at me. I look over and he screams IS THAT YOUR CAR!?! pointing to my car. It is in the center of a 75 foot diameter puddle of gasoline and a huge bubbling stream is gurgling out of the filler neck. I slam the phone down and run to my car. Everybody has run away from the filling area except one old lady who is still filling her tank. I yank the decrepit hose out of my tank and pull the gas cap out. The kickoff on the hose isn't functional and it was gonna pump the whole underground tank out into the parking lot. I hang up the nozzle and then realize I am standing in about 3/4" of 92 octane lake. I do not exaggrate when I say the lake is 75 feet by 20 feet big. I'm REALLY wanting to get out of there cause I'm hearing lots of mean sounding spanish being yelled (or Cuban) in my direction. But I'm not ABOUT to try to start the car. I'm concerned about a spark, but I also know the cats are still up to temp (1100 degrees or so) and I don't want the radiator fan to stir up the fumes when I crank it. So I open up the door, throw her in N. I reach over and yank my receipt out of the gas pump and push the car out to the edge of the lake, the parking lot goes downhill from there, so I gather some speed and hop in. I coast out into the road and fire that puppy up. And away I went.
Now I notice my feet carried the 3/4" deep lake of gasoline inside with me. Bout to knock me out from the fumes. I drive down the road with the windows open and go in a Walgreens and buy 5 boxes of baking soda to soak up the fumes (seemed logical at the time). I throw it under the front mat, on top of the front mat, and all in the driver's floor area. I go run my errands, make my visit in Hialeah, and return to Miami Beach. When I get back to the hotel on Collins Ave, there are two cops standing in the breezeway next to the valet stand. I pull up to the valet and get out. I wait for the valet since he isn't there and nod to the cops. I don't even pay any attention but I guess they are really checking me out. I see the valet so I turn to watch him approach. He comes up and hands me a valet slip and I open the door for him. About that time, one of the cops stops the valet and says he needs to talk to me. I turn around and both cops are RIGHT THERE. They ask if I mind showing them some ID. I say that I don't mind, but ask if there is anything wrong. I pull out my ID and hand it to one of them. The other asks me what my business is in Miami. I tell him I'm down to visit a cousin and to enjoy the area. He asks if I have come down from Tennessee. I say yes. He asks if I am alone. I say no. He asks if he can search my car. I tell him that I'd rather he didn't but only because I need to get cleaned up for dinner and don't really want to waste the time. The second cop says that I don't need to be worried for the little delay, and that they are going to earh the car regardless. About that time two more cops cars pull up. No lights on. The first cop opens my door, bends down, pinches up some damn baking soda, and TASTES it! He asks "what is this?". I said baking soda. He said "for WHAT?" I said to get the gasoline smell out. I got gas on my shoes and tracked it in the car. He laughed. I told him there was more in the Walgreen's bag, along with a receipt showing I didn't steal it. He opened the bag and inspected the contents. I told him to look in the trunk if he wanted, but could I please let the man park my car so I could go in? They did look in the trunk, but only took another couple of seconds. They apologized and told me that they were very suspicious of the black Mercedes, the guy with white dust on his ankles and shoes, and the white dust on the floor of the car. Thought they really had something.
Watched a guy in a 18' aluminum Cherokee vee hull runabout fill his tanks. He then cranked on the 1965 Evinrude 75 until the battery went dead. Then he pulled the cover off and choked it and pumped the bulb until gas poured out the front of the carb throat. Pulled the start cord a couple of times with no luck. A dock guy said he had some jumpers and went to get them. The guy came back with a battery and some jumper cables. The guy put his cowling back on the Evinrude. Then they hooked up the jumper cables. Then (remember the gas drooling out of the carb throat?) he hit the key and the BOMB went off! BANG !
The Evinrude cowling went STRAIGHT UP probably 40 feet high, maybe more. Then came splashing back into the lake. Bobbed up once, then sank forever. There wasn't even any smoke around the motor. The explosion blew out the fire as soon as it started. The guy, though, stood there frozen and white for ten or fifteen seconds, then he leaped out of the boat - ran over and grabbed the dock extinguisher, and emptied the contents all over the flywheel of his Evinrude...
Better late than never.
Better yet, how long did it take to write all that????