Go Back  Offshoreonly.com > Boating by Region > Northeast US
NE-Section "JOKE THREAD" >

NE-Section "JOKE THREAD"

Notices

NE-Section "JOKE THREAD"

Thread Tools
 
Old 02-08-2012, 02:00 PM
  #1  
VIP Member
VIP Member
Thread Starter
 
WildThing47's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: CT, FL
Posts: 1,988
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default NE-Section "JOKE THREAD"

Let's get some good jokes, since we're all kind of a joke anyway...

I'll start...

Dear Tech Support:


Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance -- particularly in the Sex and food preperation applications, which operated flawlessly under Girlfriend 5.0 In addition, Wife 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Oral Sex 9.5 and Personal Attention 6....5, and then installed undesirable programs such as Girld nite 5.0, Oxygen Channel 3.0. and granny panties 4.1.

Risque Sex Locations 8.0 no longer runs, and Anal 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Old Girlfriend 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?


Signed,
Desperate
*

*
*
Dear Desperate:


First keep in mind, Girlfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Wife 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command: "http: I Thought You Loved Me.htm" and try to download pay more attention 6.2, and don't forget to install the compassion 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Girlfriend 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Horny all the time 2.0 and Invite my best friend 3.5.

But remember, overuse of the above applications can cause Wife 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Constant nagging 6.1. Constant nagging 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Constant PMS Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Girlfriend 5.0 program.

These are unsupported applications and will crash Wife 1.0! In summary, Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend New Wardrobe 3.0 and Diamonds 7.7.


Good Luck,
Tech Support
WildThing47 is offline  
Old 02-08-2012, 02:28 PM
  #2  
Can You Hear Me Now??
Gold Member
 
4195's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Old Saybrook CT
Posts: 2,733
Received 45 Likes on 24 Posts
Default

What is the difference between jelly and jam?????

You can't jelly your c0 ck down her throat
4195 is offline  
Old 02-08-2012, 02:32 PM
  #3  
VIP Member
VIP Member
Thread Starter
 
WildThing47's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: CT, FL
Posts: 1,988
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

haha it's peanut-butter and jam...

Hey Frank...

Two tampons are walking down the street...hahah

"What's the difference between peanutbutter and jam..."

"I can't peanutbutter my dick in her ass..." haha
WildThing47 is offline  
Old 02-08-2012, 02:59 PM
  #4  
Registered
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: longisland ny
Posts: 636
Likes: 0
Received 14 Likes on 7 Posts
Default

Wife..didn't perform that well, girlfriend performed alright,...mistress that performed like it should,I gave it a shot for what its worth best I could come up with
park35 is offline  
Old 02-08-2012, 07:28 PM
  #5  
Can You Hear Me Now??
Gold Member
 
4195's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Old Saybrook CT
Posts: 2,733
Received 45 Likes on 24 Posts
Default

What do you call a black man flying a plane...........














A pilot you racist
4195 is offline  
Old 02-08-2012, 08:08 PM
  #6  
Registered
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: peabody mass
Posts: 533
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

a guy walks into a bar there is a bowl of peanuts on the bar the peanuts look up at the guy and say you look very nice today the guy says hey bartender whats with these peanuts bartender says there complimentary
mach1magnum is offline  
Old 02-08-2012, 08:58 PM
  #7  
Registered
 
Downtown42's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: 1 Flu Ovr KuKos Nest-WI
Posts: 9,950
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

It's springtime and a stripper dancing in front of you with bleach blonde hair and natural dark eyebrows pulls her top off with huge bazzoomga's is about ready to drop her G stringy.....






What color will her bush be?





























PURPLE !!!!!! she likes Lillac's color when in bloom
Downtown42 is offline  
Old 02-09-2012, 06:37 AM
  #8  
Registered
iTrader: (2)
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 6,641
Received 108 Likes on 65 Posts
Default

This is the best joke that I know of: Hahahahaha! Come on Jeff, get off the crack!
Attached Thumbnails NE-Section "JOKE THREAD"-028.jpg  
kreed is offline  
Old 02-09-2012, 09:42 AM
  #9  
VIP Member
VIP Member
Thread Starter
 
WildThing47's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: CT, FL
Posts: 1,988
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

hahah!
WildThing47 is offline  
Old 02-09-2012, 01:02 PM
  #10  
VIP Member
VIP Member
Thread Starter
 
WildThing47's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: CT, FL
Posts: 1,988
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Default

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZILF5mdy9M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h05ZQ...feature=fvwrel
WildThing47 is offline  


Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service

Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.