IS JACK SCHITT???
For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find
a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!' Well, thanks to my
genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate,
married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son,
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced
children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins
Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school
dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.
Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with
them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt,
and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt.
Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable
throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual
The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.
The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned
Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
NOW when someone says,
'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.