Mike,
Going from a X5 to a domestic there are some major differences as they target different customer/functions. Sold an 04 denali after 24 months- very nice soft ride-no problems what so ever. Quality was good for a domestic truck
I agree with above in putting the VW on your shopping list-very tight, fun to drive and almost (stress almost) BMW like.
Toyotas are very reliable but the much softer ride than the euro competition.
Suggestion, go out and rent a few of the rides( enterprise, hertz) you are considering and see how well they drive (and upholstry duribility) after they have been beatin-on by the public. Also, many euro dealerships have service loaners that may rent out, check them out.
When you land on a specific brand- float-it-up on the board and we will pick it apart
Also (one-of the) good sites to check out is edmunds.com to start with in checkin stuff out.
Just remember, the fun is in the hunt
Good luck.