Offshoreonly.com - Few more Funnys

What's a man's idea of safe sex?

A padded headboard!

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Q: What does a 70 year old woman taste like?

A: Depends!
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A woman walks into a grocery store and buys the
following items:

1 Single Serving Can of Soup
1 Frozen Dinner
1 Ice Cream Cone
1 Toothbrush
1 Can of Coke

The checkout guy says: "You must be single"

"How did you guess?" She responded

"Because you are f**king ugly!"

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Why did the blonde have lipstick on her steering
wheel?

She was trying to blow the horn.
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Boy: Dad, what's politics?

Dad: Let me set an example with our family. I
have all the money so we'll call me the
management. Mom receives most of it so we'll call
her the government. We'll call the maid the
working class, you are the people, and your baby
brother is the future. Do you understand now son?

Boy: I still don't understand dad.

Dad: Think about it for a while son.

That night the boy wakes up because his baby
brother is crying. He goes in and finds out he's
soiled his diapers. He goes to tell his mom but
she's asleep he goes in to the maids room but
she's in there having sex with his dad. He bangs
on the door but no one can here him.

The next day...
Son: Dad I understand politics now.

Dad: Good, explain it to me in your own words
son.

Son: The management is screwing the working class
while the governmenats is fast asleep. The people
are being ignored and the future is full of ****!

:D :D :D