Offshoreonly.com - OK Women........take this!!! LOL

I keep reading all these posts about how women are smarter, women are superior... women are stronger. I say, if they're
so smart why can't they figure out these very simple things about us men.

Very simple rules to follow and we'll be loving and content Boyfriends/spouses. I've
outlined 32 of them.
"Rules to live together by"
(1)Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. We needit up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leavingit down.
(2)If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to
act like soap opera guys.
(3) If you think you're fat, you probably
are. Don't ask us. Werefuse to answer.
(4) Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
(5) If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect ananswer you don't want to hear. (Really, really listen to this one)
(6) Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
(7)Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as fast cars, motorcycles, or sex!
(8)Sunday Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
(9)Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never going to think of it that way.
(10) When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
(11)You have enough clothes.
(12)You have too many shoes.
(13)Crying is blackmail.
(14)Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it!
(15)No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on the calendar.
(16)Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound to miss sometimes.
(17)Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
(18)Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
(19)Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
(20)A headache that lasts for 17 months is a
problem. See a doctor.
(21)Foreign films are best left to foreigners. It doesn't really matter what the hell they're saying anyway...
(22)Check your oil!!!!
(23)It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
(24)Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
(25)All comments become null and void after a couple of days.
(26)If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad
or angry, we meant the other one.
(27)Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's genetic.
(28)You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how to do something but not both.
(29)Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
(30)ALL men see in only 16 colors. Peach is a fruit, not a color.
(31)If it itches, it will be scratched.
(32)If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. Simple enough, right?

IF ONE woman will heed...this program...it is a success

And just for the record i didnt make this up!!! I got it this morning in an email! :D Guys feel free to add any that may have been forgotten! heheh :D