Afternoon Funnies
 

A man went into a tattoo parlor and asked the
owner if he would tattoo the words "yes" and "no"
on his penis.

The owner agreed and the tattooing was underway.

When the job was complete, the man thought his
new tattoo looked great and he paid for the
service.

That night when the man went home he approached
his wife in their bedroom. He stripped off his
pants, then his boxer shorts, and there was his
aroused organ displaying his new tattoo.

He asked his wife, "Well Honey, what do you think
of my new tattoo?"

She said, "You tell me how to cook, you tell me
how to clean the house, you tell me how to do the
laundry...and now you are going to put words
in my mouth!?!?!"


--------------------------------------------

One weekend, the husband is in the bathroom
shaving, when Bubba, a kid from around the
neighborhood, comes in after having mowed the
lawn for him, and proceeds to pee in the toilet.
Well, Bubba was rather well endowed and curiosity
got the best of the husband and he just had to
look. Sure enough, Bubba had the largest penis he
had ever seen!!! The man asked Bubba, 'I don't
mean to be too personal, but how did your dick
get that big? I couldn't help but notice...'
Bubba laughed and said, 'Every night before bed,
I bang it on the bedpost three times. Heck, it
impresses the girls at school!'

The husband was excited at the simplicity of this
technique and could hardly wait to try it
himself! Before he climbed into bed that night,
he whipped it out and banged it on the bedpost
three times. He was just climbing into bed with
newfound confidence when the wife sits up,
half-asleep and rubbing her eyes, and says,
'Bubba, is that you?'