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Best"OSO"member quote..ORIGINAL only!!!!

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Old 12-19-2005, 08:50 PM
  #111
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Talking Re: Best"OSO"member quote..ORIGINAL only!!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by KLAATU
Actually that's not correct !

As a Vegetarian I MUST Protest !
I can't argue, as I've never seen vegetarian poop.
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Old 12-19-2005, 10:00 PM
  #112
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Default Re: Best"OSO"member quote..ORIGINAL only!!!!

not really quotes but funny as chit none the less.

posted by Wally:
Quote:
This didnt happen to me but a buddy of mine. First time on a boat and first time at LOTO!!! He is so sensory overloaded that he cant think straight most of the day.....anyway we give these two girls a ride back to TanTara resort and pull up to the docks for what i hopeing to be a touch and go.......but this brainiack decides he needs to say good bye to the girls He hops on the rear corner of the sun deck and grabs the dock........the boat is SLOWLY drifing....the girls get off and he starts talking and trying to keep the boat in place.........boat starts drifting farther away fromm dock......dummy starts to extend his arms and then legs.....then body......next thing ya know i look and he is COMPLETELY HORIZONTAL!!! It looked like a cartoon character holding on for dear life with his fingers and toe's!!! LMAO! ........then the inevitable........SPLASH!!!!! and he comes to the surface with this look of terror and disbeliefe of what just happened.............we still laugh our a$$'s off talking about it
 
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Old 12-19-2005, 10:03 PM
  #113
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Default Re: Best"OSO"member quote..ORIGINAL only!!!!

probably one of the funnyest post ive ever read on oso.

posted by Rice Hauler
Quote:
I alluded to this incident once in an earlier thread but I may as well elaborate a bit.
Summer of 2000 and I had just hit Lake Erie with my latest Rice Hauler. A 2000 Single Step Top Gun.
I have a date with me and I am hoping to impress her and everyone else within eyesight with my matching cig shirt, swim shorts, windbreaker, shoes, towels, key floaters, etc. and oh yeah the boat too.
We head out to one of the major performance hot spots on Lake Erie's kelly's Island. The Casino Restaurant. The Casino has it's own boat basin and the front row is reserved only for Offshore performance boats. This is only my second or third time there but I am one of the newest Cig's and so nattily attired in matching shirt, shorts, and shoes, that they dock us up right in front with The outdoor tiki bar and restaurant looking down not 5 feet above us onto the GLEAMING nose of my newest expression of virility and boating prowess. At 5'8" and 170lbs. wet (yes this all is leading somewhere) I am a STUD as I cooly follow my date and walk off the boat and onto the dock.
I spend a relaxing day discussing the virtues of EVERYTHING Cigarette. She spends the day wishing I would just shut up already. As the afternoon wanes on I am sure that everyone within earshot now believes that I bleed Cig red and black, and could captain a boat to the moon if I so desired.
I decide that it is time to head for home and round up my date and as the assembled cocktail hour throng of people watch and listen,(it seemed like there were at least a couple of hundred there) I cooly tell her that proper boating etiquette DEMANDS that we walk across the other 2 two boats swim platforms that we are rafted too and then onto our waiting TOP GUN.
I casually follow her scantily clad bottom and instruct her to hand me the stern line.......
The next thought that I had was that the water was unusually cold and clear and I wonder to myself if anyone saw me go in. Hopfully not. Maybe I could just hold my breath underwater until they close for the night? Who would be the wiser. As I contemplate the relative merits of drowning vs. crawling out I unfortunately float to the surface and one of the attentive Dock Jocks reaches in and hauls me out to the uproar of the crowd and my date.
You really cannot leave quick enough after a stunt like that with all your coolness and panache washed off and lying at the bottom of the lake. The cold water squelching in your shoes and your shirt and windbreaker sticking to you. But the worst part is that at least once a year someone mentions that they were there and that it was one of the funniest things that they have ever seen. I just try and agree and hope that by next season they will have all forgotten.
best,
Rice Hauler
the thread http://www.offshoreonly.com/forums/s...ghlight=jacket
 
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Old 12-19-2005, 10:24 PM
  #114
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Default Re: Best"OSO"member quote..ORIGINAL only!!!!

the story that started the thread

posted by Chris288
Quote:
so who's fallen in the water at their dock ???

last night I pulled a doozy,,,, cleaned the entire boat, 303'd the upholstery, went to put the cover on, was kneeling on the dock reaching to snap the cover over the swim platoform,, (note to self,, 303 protectant and dew on the cover make one slick surface ) anyway, hand slipped off and into the water,, luckily my nose was there to break my fall,,, ( note to self,,, your nose is NOT a good part of your body to break a fall,,, you will most likely BREAK your NOSE ),, anyway, the DUMBEST thing is I did it again,, yup, slipped again,, this time I ducked,, ( see I am paying attention) and barrel rolled into the water,,, so I managed to skin my knee, raspberry my chest, cut my finger, get a lump on my nose and a bump on my head,,, all I could do was lay on the dock and LMMFAO ! the soggy ride home sucked...
 
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Old 07-10-2008, 09:32 PM
  #115
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Here's a classic
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Old 07-10-2008, 09:33 PM
  #116
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nice
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Old 07-17-2008, 01:32 PM
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.................................................
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Old 07-17-2008, 01:39 PM
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My favorite most recent quote - stecz20 (still boatless) - in the stingray thread.

"MF'er I've had bar tabs that cost more than your boat"
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Old 07-17-2008, 02:32 PM
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"She's a whore? Bless her heart!"

"8-80, blind, cripple or crawling, if she can't walk, I'll drag her"

Mike's Abortion Clinic, you rape 'em, we scrape em'.... (sorry)
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Old 07-17-2008, 02:41 PM
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I can't remember the player's But ,,,

Tonto said: " I would not let you drive my boat to the gas dock in a idle zone!"

just makes a lot of sense to me !!

RHC
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