DISORDER IN THE COURT !!
These are from a book called Disorder in the Court, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters -- who had the torment of staying calm while these
exchanges were actually taking place. Some of these are excellent - Q: Are you sexually active? A: No, I just lie there. === === Q: What is your date of birth? A: July 15th. Q: What year? A: Every year. === === Q: What gear were you in at the moment of he impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. === === Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten? === === Q: How old is your son, the one living with you? A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years. === === Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan. === === Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult? A: We both do. Q: Voodoo? A: We do. Q: You do? A: Yes, voodoo. === This section we'll call 'who says lawyers are smart ??????' === Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? === === Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he? === === Q: Were you present when your picture was taken? === === Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? A: Yes. Q: And what were you doing at that time? === === Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None. Q: Were there any girls? === === Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated? === === Q: Can you describe the individual? A: He was about medium height and had a beard. Q: Was this a male, or a female? === === Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. === === Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. === === Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to? A: Oral. === === Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr.. Dennington was dead at the time? A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy. === === Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? ===- === Saved the best one for last.................. Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? A: No. Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No. Q: Did you check for breathing? A: No. Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? A: No. Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere. |
:D :D :D :D
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:D :D :D :D
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:D :D :D I love this stuff!!!
Sean :) |
That's too funny!!!
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made my day!!!! :p :p :p :p :p
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:) :) :) :)
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oral :p :eek: :D
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:D :D :D :D
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lol :D :D :D
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