Offshoreonly.com - Friday funny

>Once upon a time, there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for
>baked beans. She loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a
very
>embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her. Then one day she met
a
>man and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry
>she thought to herself, "He is such a sweet and gentle man, he would
never
>go for this carrying on." She made the supreme sacrifice and gave up
>beans. Some months later her car broke down on the way home from work.
>Since she lived in the country she called her husband and told him
that she
>would be late because she had to walk home. On her way, she passed a
small
>diner and the odor of the baked beans was more than she could stand.
Since
>she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk off any
ill
>effects by the time she reached home. So, she stopped at the diner and
>before she knew it, she had consumed three large orders of
>baked beans. All the way home she putt-putted, and upon arriving home
she
>felt reasonably sure she could control it. Her husband seemed excited
to
>see her and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling, I have a surprise for
dinner
>tonight." He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the
table.
>She
>seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from
his
>wife, the telephone rang. He made her promise not to touch the
blindfold
>until he returned. He then went to answer the telephone. The baked
beans
>she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure was
becoming
>almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room she seized
the
>opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go. It was not
only
>loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in
front
>of pulpwood mill. She took her napkin and fanned the air around her
>vigorously. Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three
more,
>which reminded her of cooked cabbage. Keeping her ears tuned to the
>conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another ten
>minutes.
>When the telephone farewells signaled the end of her freedom, she
fanned
>the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and
folded
>her
>hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself. She was the picture of
>innocence when her husband returned, apologizing for taking so long,
he
>asked her if she peeked, and she assured him that she had not. At this
>point, he removed the blindfold, and she was surprised!! There were
twelve
>dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a "Happy
Birthday"!!!
>
:D :D