Offshoreonly.com - ot don't upgrade(funny)

> > Subject: Tech Support Request "Uninstall Wife 1.0"
> > Date: Monday, March 08, 1999 9:15 PM
> >
> > Tech support Request
> >
> > Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new
> > program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space
and
> > valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the
> > product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other
> > programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all
> > other system activity. Applications such as Poker night 10.3 and Beer
bash
> > 2.5 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem
> > to purge Wife 1.0 from my system. I am thinking about going back to
> > Girlfriend 1.0 but un-install does not work on this program. Can you
help
> > me?
> >
> > -Jonathan Powell
> >
> > Dear Jonathan Powell-
> >
> > This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a
> > primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife
1.0
> > with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT"
> > program.
> >
> > Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run
> > everything. WARNING DO NOT TRY TO : un-install, delete, or purge the
> > program from the system once installed. Trying to un-install Wife 1.0
can
> > be disastrous. Doing so may destroy your hard and /or floppy drive.
> > Trying to un-install or remove Wife 1.0 will destroy valuable system
> > resources. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 1.0 because Wife 1.0 is not
> > designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 2.0 or Wife
2.0
> > but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your
> > manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support. Others have tried to run
> > Girlfriend 1.0 in the background, while Wife 1.0 is running. Eventually
> > Wife 1.0 detects Girlfriend 1.0 and a system conflict occurs, this can
> lead
> > to a non-recoverable system crash. Some users have tried to download
> > similar products such as Fling and 1NiteStand. Often their systems have
> > become infected with a virus. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just
deal
> > with the situation.
> >
> > Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the
entire
> > section regarding General Protection Faults (GPFs). You must assume all
> > responsibility for faults and problems that might occur. The best course
> > of action will be to push apologize button then reset button as soon as
> > lock-up occurs. System will run smooth as long as you take the blame for
> > all GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program but is very high maintenance.

Mattyboy
trying to run boat 2.0 along with wife 1.0