OutlawBayB

1. Only in America...... can a pizza get to your
> > > > house faster than an ambulance.
> > > >
> > > > 2. Only in America...... are there handicap parking
> > > > places in front of a skating rink.
> > > >
> > > > 3. Only in America...... do drugstores make the sick
> > > > walk all the way to the back of the store to get
> > > > their prescriptions while healthy people can buy
> > > > cigarettes at the front.
> > > >
> > > > 4. Only in America...... do people order double
> > > > cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
> > > >
> > > > 5. Only in America...... do banks leave both doors
> > > > open and then chain the pens to the counters.
> > > >
> > > > 6. Only in America...... do we leave cars worth
> > > > thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our
> > > > useless junk in the garage.
> > > >
> > > > 7. Only in America...... do we use answering
> > > > machines to screen calls and then have call waiting
> > > > so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want
> > > > to talk to in the first place.
> > > >
> > > > 8. Only in America...... do we buy hot dogs in
> > > > packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
> > > >
> > > > 9. Only in America...... do we use the word
> > > > 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli'
> > > > in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking
> creatures'.
> > > >
> > > > 10. Only in America...... do they have drive-up ATM
> > > > machines with Braille lettering.
> > > >
> > > > EVER WONDER:
> > > >
> > > > Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
> > > >
> > > > Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth
> > > > closed?
> > > >
> > > > Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins
> > > > Lottery"?
> > > >
> > > > Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
> > > >
> > > > Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click
> > > > on "Start"?
> > > >
> > > > Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and
> > > > dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
> > > >
> > > > Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic
> > > > called rush hour?
> > > >
> > > > Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
> > > >
> > > > When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests
> > > > it?
> > > >
> > > > Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
> > > >
> > > > Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal
> > > > injections?
> > > >
> > > > Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
> > > >
> > > > Why are they called apartments when they are all
> > > > stuck together?
> > > >
> > > > If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport
> > > > the terminal?

seanclong

I love: 'Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? ' I have two big fatties who would love mouse-flavored cat food . Yum!!

Milord

diligaf

There wasn't a single mention of a boat, or any boating activities.... This post should have been labled O.T. with a great big " WARNING " lable on it, and for that matter, this forum was not intended for such BANTER in the first place... HOW DARE YOU !!!

mattyboy

a couple more
why do our noses run and our feet smell?
we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
from george carlin's brain droppings
oops should have put a warning on this post you know George had the 7 words you can't say on TV, wouldn't want to hurt some one feelings if I hurt your feelings I'm sorry you should have left them home!

Mattyboy

CigDaze

Those are great!

Hauling Trash

good one`s

mike

Consintracy

Only in America....
Do we have Super Walmart w/ a parking spot at the front door...that say..."Expectant Mother's Parking Only!!!"

(I thought of that one, myself) And ya' know what I say to that..."Who's to say, I didn't become pregnant last night!!)

If they have the energy to walk around Walmart...they have the energy to walk from all areas of the parking lot!!!

Tracy

Iggy

How about but flavored catfood ala Gallagher.
Or for those cats that are'nt street wise breed them pre-flattened.

CigDaze

So if one would expect to have a child sometime within their life, the spot is all theirs, huh?