Offshoreonly.com - TGIF Afternoon comedy (PG-13)

Here are a few to send you into the weekend with a smile on your face................

The manager of a general store is teaching a new kid how to sell customers more than they actually need. “I’ll show you what I mean,” he whispers as a guy walks in asking for lawn seed.

“Here you go,” says the manager.

“And you’ll be wanting a lawn mower, right?”

“Why’s that?” the guy asks.

“You’ll need to cut the grass after the seeds grow.”

Amazingly, the guy buys one. When another man enters and asks for a pack of Tampax, the manager winks at the boy, who says, “Of course, sir. And I suppose you’ll be needing a lawn mower?”

“Why would that be?” asks the puzzled customer.

“Well, your weekend’s f*cked, so you might as well mow the lawn.”

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Two cowboys are out on the range one starry night talking about their favorite sex positions. One says, “Ever have rodeo sex?”

“Ain’t heard of that one, ” says the other cowboy. “What is it?”

“Well, you get the girl down on all fours, and you mount her from behind. Then you reach around and cup her breasts, whisper in her ear, ‘Boy, these feel just like your sister’s!’ and see how long you can hang on.”

************************************************** **

Two Canadians are sitting in a bar getting bored, so they decide to play twenty questions. The first Canadian tries to think of a subject for his friend to guess and, after a little pondering, comes up with "moose cock." He tells his friend he’s ready to play.

"OK," says the second Canadian. "Is it something good to eat?"

The first Canadian thinks for a moment, then laughs and replies, "Sure, I guess you could eat it."

The second Canadian says, "Is it a moose cock?"

:D :D :D :D ;) ;)