Offshoreonly.com - Tuesday Humor (amended)

Apparently geriatric humor doesn't sell well on this board, so here goes with some other stuff........

A guy visits his doctor complaining of uncontrollable flatulence. The doc tells him to undress and leaves the room. Moments later he returns, carrying a long stick with a hook on the end. “Oh, God!” says the guy in terror. “What are you going to do with that?”

“I’m going to open a window,” the doctor replies. “It stinks in here.”

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A man and his son walk into an ice cream parlor. The man orders a vanilla cone, looks at his son, slaps him on the back of the head and asks, “What do you want, Fathead?”

The guy at the counter is appalled. He questions the man on his actions, to which the man replies, “There are three things a man wants in life: 1. A big truck. You see that truck out there? Biggest damn truck in town; 2. A nice house. I got the nicest house in the county; and 3) A tight woman. Had me one of those too, until Fathead here came along…”

:D :D :D ;)