"When **** becomes valuable, the poor will be born without *******s."

I'd be on her, like a hobo on a ham sammwich

Steve David left out a good one he used a while back.

It went something like:

"If your throwing dirt, your loosing ground"

Never put off until tomarrow, what should be forgotten about until well after the boating season.
J-BOAT "procrastinator extrodinare"

"Viagra---the quicker sticker upper"

"Your village called, they want their idiot back"

"Your proctololist called, they found your head"

"Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill"

"If everyone in the world sat still for just ten minutes a day and contemplated life, imagine how serene and peaceful it would be until the looting started"

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."

"I drink to make other people interesting."

"Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse."

"If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten"

Just heard this one.


A friend will help you move, a really good friend will help you move a body

If I can quote myself...

"The only thing Canada is thankful for is that the U.S.A. separates them and the rat nest we call Mexico"

-supercrash

Heres another one...

"Sorry if I offened anyone"

-supercrash
I use that second quote alot.

"It's real funny until someone gets hurt...then it's hilarious"

"So many freaks, so few circuses""

I don't care if the glass is half full or half empty, all I care about is who's buying the next round.


Every man wants to be a woman's first. Every woman wants to be a man's last.