Offshoreonly.com - little billy adult joke!

LITTLE BILLY ON ...GETTING OLDER
Little BILLY was sitting on a park bench munching
on one candy bar
after another.

After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from
him said, "Son,
you know eating all that candy isn't good for
you. It will give
you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."

Little BILLY replied, "My grandfather lived to be
107 years old."

"Oh?" replied the man. " Did your grandfather eat
6 candy bars at a
time?"

"No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own
f@#$ing business!!"

LITTLE BILLY ON...PHILOSOPHY

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds
sitting on a fence
and you shoot one of them, how many will be
left?"
She calls on little BILLY.

He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the
first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but
I like your
thinking."
Then little BILLY says, "I have a question for
YOU. There are 3
women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is
delicately licking the
sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second
is gobbling down
the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting
off the top of
the ice cream. Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies,
"Well, I suppose the
one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the
cone."

To which Little BILLY replied, "The correct answer
is 'the one with
the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."

************************************************** ********************

LITTLE BILLY ON... MATH:

Little BILLY returns home from school and says he
got an F in
arithmetic.

"Why?" asks the father."

"The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6,"
replied BILLY.

"But that's right!" says his dad.

"Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'"

"What's the f@#$%ing difference? " asks the father.

"That's what I said!"

************************************************** ********************

LITTLE BILLY ON...ENGLISH:

Little BILLY goes to school, and the teacher says,
"Today we are
going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does
anybody have an example
of a multi-syllable word?"
BILLY says " Mas-tur-bate."

Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little BILLY,
that's a
mouthful.">

Little BILLY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're
thinking of a blowjob."
>************************************************* *********************

LITTLE BILLY ON...GRAMMAR:
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the
teacher asked for a
show hands from those who could use the word
"beautiful" in the
same sentence twice.

First she called on little Suzie, who responded
with, "My father
bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked
beautiful in it."

"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then
called on little
Michael.

"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it
turned out
beautifully."

The teacher responded, "Excellent, Michael!" Then,
she reluctantly
called on little BILLY.

"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told
my father that she
was pregnant, and he said "Beautiful, just f@#$%ing
beautiful!"

Mattyboy