Need A Solution!!!!
 

Hi Gang:

I am in a serious dilemma! You work all your life with the intentions of building a nestegg enough to be reasonably comfortable when retiring. But, during your life you want enough money to do things before you get there. My physical condition at this age is still good enough to enjoy most of my favorite sporting activities, (hiking, backpacking, walking 18 round golf, biking) 2nd to boating. The wife has it in her mind we should do everything we can to save for the future! I say to spend a little more now where I can enjoy life and maybe go into debt with some trips and see more things like APBA, SBI boat racing. This is where we are starting to draw swords against each other and the older I get the worse it seems. What do I do? My answer, most of the time is the big D, anyone else going to give me a better solution! :confused: :confused: :confused:

are you talking about the big D and dont mean Dallas:D :D

My opinion on this matter would be biased as i just recently got annuled from the women i was engaged to for almost 4 years and then married for 5 months so my opinion is you only live once and i would much rather be 80 and say look at all of the fun stuff i have done than be 80 and say look at that pile of money lets go do some fun stuff. just my .02

yea ditto, i subscribe to the "spend it now" theory. Of course I will probably be pushing a shopping cart and retirement will not be an option, but I think ssherman said it perfectly.

It is a difficlt balance. Same at my house. Live today and pay tomorrow or pay today and live tomorrow. If you save it all and don't do anything until later you will be bored, and what if the worst happens to you. No good answer. Go see a financial planner. He will be able to tell you haw much you need to save for retirement and the rest it is ok to spend and enjoy. When you find the answer, Let me know.

This is kinda the attitude I have and I "totally agree" with ssherman and like the

"you only live once and i would much rather be 80 and say look at all of the fun stuff i have done than be 80 and say look at that pile of money lets go do some fun stuff."

I too subscribe to the spend now theory. I am putting money away every month for a modest retirement, while investing more on continuing to enjoy the things we love in life -OFFSHORES:D :D :D

Fortunetely my wife agrees with me, she has watched nearly all of her relatives die young. We both believe that we will enjoy life to its fullest now while we are both HEALTHY and ALIVE:D

Well **** "you can't take it with you" no one knows what fate has in store for us so it's been my goal to enjoy life while I can. Four years ago I rolled my quad ATV while hunting in the woods ended up with a 50% L1 compression fracture. I came dam close to being paralyzed. It takes something like that to help you adjust your priorities. My motto live and enjoy life while you can you never know when/if fate could take it all away. Remember no regrets! That brings me to the big "D". To me life is not worth living alone so use your 51% controlling interest in the marriage or that god given charm or what ever it takes to keep your life and hers alive while you are both able to enjoy it, but stay married if you can. I have been successful at this for 19 years now so I know it can work. Just my $.02 good luck.

:cool:

I agree with your wife to a point. I don't think you want to be in debt in your later years as it will be harder to make the money you do now, but I also think that you should do the things you want now because you may not have the ability to so later. Don't let it screw up your marriage though, if at all possible. Try and agree on some sort of compromise between the two of you.

A while back I was talking to a young mother (18 yr old), and I asked her why her boyfriend and her had a child at that age. Her response is that we want to have a family early so that they will be out of the house while were young, so that they can go and do the things they want at a later time. I looked at her and said "You have your way of thinking, backwards". Do the things in life that you want to do that require you to be in physical shape for. I think I kind of got her thinking, Oh Well to late.

Anyhow I agree. If there are things you want to do now I think that they should be budgeted in to your life while you can enjoy them. Lord knows I'm going to be working at Taco Bell when I semi-retire. :( ;)

Les

One of the wonders of the world COMPOUNDING INTEREST!!!!! Got to find the balance that allows you to save and have fun.

Jon

There is one thing about life that is for sure...Life is no dress rehearsal. I believe in playing today, within your means, cause there may not be a tomorrow. I would hate to be sitting in a chair at age 65 with bundles of money in the bank and thinking I wished I done things differently. Have fun now while you can cause regrate is a terrible thing!

Luvoffshore

I cannot comment on the D, never being married, but I have broken up with many a girlfriends (2very serious) over my lifestyle or the way I spend my money. The only advise I can say is its MY LIFESTYLE AND MY MONEY. But thats me. Take into account I am 25. I am enjoying my life, toooo many of my friends are hating life now. I don't understand how so many of my married friends are always broke, but yet they have 2 incomes????? Wich combined is more than I make?? something to ponder.

On a final note, my cousin said after his divorce

"Its never too late to start over again"

:rolleyes:
Will

Where else can a guy with his mind going every which way including loose go and get some good advice!!!! Thanks a million from all of you and keep them coming. It's great to hear from all sides! Maybe by the end of the day I might be able to look at things a little more cheerfully :rolleyes:

If the retirement funds are already automatically allocated out of current earnings, then you can "invest" in fun stuff also. Like lake cabins (which appreciate) & boats & toys(which depreciate). However, if you buy wisely, you can in fact MAKE money or come close to breaking even, buying and selling boats, while in fact you can use them for your own enjoyment. You can buy quality boats (top of the line stuff) and keep them for several years if wanted, & turn them for little loss. The larger boats are harder to sell but in fact may have less "loss" when turned. They are also an asset that can be sold as needed for retirement. I have lost more money this last year in my 401K than I have lost in my LIFE on boats!
If you postpone living now & plan ONLY for retirement, you both will be very bored & have little in common when those Golden years arrive. :( Be happy now and any problems later will seem smaller because of the smiles on yours and your wifes faces reviewing your memories together.:D

Seiing as I am on my second wife...... thanks god.!! I can say the big D is always an option....although i would think a compromise would be a much better solution.... and some good honest communication... I do agree that life is meant to be lived today ...as no one ever knows what tomm. brings....It is a tough question that I too struggle with now and then... but for better or for worse I will work to maintain my relationship with my far better other half...... good luck

NOW WHERES MY NEW BOAT???......LOL....

PS.... maybe she doesn't want to go to APBA or SBI

My father died when he was 32- a week before Kennedy in '63
My Grandfather, who became the father figure in my life, and lived until he was 80, summed it up best- something I'm not sure he thought he followed too well- I try my best at this saying of his!

Do not grow old regretting things you did not do

There has to be a balance......that's why I don't have a Skater:D :D

I thnk everybody has made good points. Not knowing about your financial situation you could do one or more of the following:

1. Settle for a smaller, single engine boat.
2. Set aswide a certain amout of money that you will not exceed, no matter what. If you have enough saved you can invest it and spend the interest, dividends or growth only, for example. Then it's like having a perpetual boat fund.
3. Do something to get your wife involved and excited about your boat. Change her attitude. Maybe there is an event or a flea market (whatever ladies like) that you can get to via your boat. Then she might grow to appreciate the money you put into it.

No one knows what tomorrow may bring. I'm not saying piss away ALL your money, but we work to live, not live to work. Not even the Bible guarantees tomorrow. Ask the families of the 911 victims how comforting their 401k's are when their hearts are sobbing every night when they go to bed. I think I married your wife's twin sister but she was the one that wanted a boat in the first place so at least we have a chance. Actually she wanted me to get out of hot rods and into boats because her Dad always had a boat when she was little and she hated car shows. Good luck to you.

I myself am in the second marriage Club. My first had financial problems and few common goals & interests.
My advice is set up a percentage of money to be set aside for retirement. Say 10%. Isn't that what a church wants? If you make 100,000 gross put up 10,000. Put it into differnt things like money market, stocks, CDs, etc. VARY it, and have her help in those choices.
Unfortunately, If "D" is in your thoughts "$$" isn't the whole story.
Noone is promised a tomarrow.

Too Old, That's interesting because my wife has the same attitude as your regarding my passion(s). She isn't a big boater either but realizes that I like it and and snowmobiling. She is understanding and supportive as to my leisure time. We've been married 16 years and I am very fortunate to have found her.:D

Because I had to work yesterday, Audio beat me to it... Compounding Interest!!!

I don't know about your personal financial picture, or the emotional baggage that is always involved with it, but you and your wife really should sit down with a financial planner. And you may need to visit a few to find one you both are okay with.

Once your wife determines how much $$ she wants to retire on, and when, you can work backwards to see how much needs to be invested each month to get there. This is the important part -- START EARLY!!!!!!!!!!! The longer you wait to start a retirement fund, the more you have to save each month. Wait too long, and you will be old, poor, unable to work, and the cat food is not just fiction.

Vist the financial planner, you might be suprised how little you have to give up now to offer you wife the comfort she needs.

Chart

PS, my father had a massive stroke shortly after he retired early. We almost lost him; would have without an experimental drug the hospital was testing. Now he is a paralyzed man in his sixties with ongoing huge medical bills, and can not work to earn the money to pay them. THANK GOD he had insurance, and a nest egg from steady savings and investing along the way to pay them. He traveled and had adventures and experiences and toys along the way. But he watched were money was spent too, and tried not to waste it on things soon forgotten about.

I understand your desire to live, but your wife has a point also.

We are more likely to have a disability then an early death, so don't forget about disability insurance.

Sorry, I rambled there. To sum it up, you can have your cake and eat it too, IF YOU HAVE A PLAN, AND ARE DISIPLANED ABOUT IT. Most of us piss away enough each month on things we don't even remember, that we could be millionares if it was saved and invested.

Good luck.

I also believe in spending now. I don't know anybody on thier death bed to who said " I wish I had spent more time at the office"

Year amount total Value of
per year invested investment
at 10%


1 " $1,000 " " $1,000 " " $1,000 "
2 " $1,000 " " $2,000 " " $2,100 "
3 " $1,000 " " $3,000 " " $3,310 "
4 " $1,000 " " $4,000 " " $4,641 "
5 " $1,000 " " $5,000 " " $6,105 "
6 " $1,000 " " $6,000 " " $7,716 "
7 " $1,000 " " $7,000 " " $9,487 "
8 " $1,000 " " $8,000 " " $11,436 "
9 " $1,000 " " $9,000 " " $13,579 "
10 " $1,000 " " $10,000 " " $15,937 "
11 " $1,000 " " $11,000 " " $18,531 "
12 " $1,000 " " $12,000 " " $21,384 "
13 " $1,000 " " $13,000 " " $24,523 "
14 " $1,000 " " $14,000 " " $27,975 "
15 " $1,000 " " $15,000 " " $31,772 "
16 " $1,000 " " $16,000 " " $35,950 "
17 " $1,000 " " $17,000 " " $40,545 "
18 " $1,000 " " $18,000 " " $45,599 "
19 " $1,000 " " $19,000 " " $51,159 "
20 " $1,000 " " $20,000 " " $57,275 "
21 " $1,000 " " $21,000 " " $64,002 "
22 " $1,000 " " $22,000 " " $71,403 "
23 " $1,000 " " $23,000 " " $79,543 "
24 " $1,000 " " $24,000 " " $88,497 "
25 " $1,000 " " $25,000 " " $98,347 "
26 " $1,000 " " $26,000 " " $109,182 "
27 " $1,000 " " $27,000 " " $121,100 "
28 " $1,000 " " $28,000 " " $134,210 "
29 " $1,000 " " $29,000 " " $148,631 "
30 " $1,000 " " $30,000 " " $164,494 "
31 " $180,943 "


I hope the above chart loads right. (NOPE, IT DIDN'T. FIRST COLUMN IS YEAR, SECOND IS AMOUNT SAVED EACH YEAR, THIRD IS TOTAL AMOUNT YOU SAVED AT EACH POINT, 4TH IS TOTAL OF SAVINGS PLUS GROTH AT 10%. THE LAST NUMBER, $180,943 SHOULD BE UNDER THE LAST COLUMN) The point I'm trying to make is that as little as $1,000 a year at 10% over time adds up. (10% is reasonable over a long period, and $1000 a year equals cable TV and a few drinks). Note: it takes roughly 24 years to reach $90,000, but only 7 more to reach $180,000. This is truely a waiting game.

Take on debt, and you'll get in a hole that is hard to dig out of. You'll never have enough money for the fun things or savings, let alone both.

You and your wife need to reach an agreement on this. Fewer problems kill a marriage than money.

Too Old: That was kind of you to say.

PERFECT subject for me......I grew up in a Scottish (my last name is Scott) miser of a household. It absolutly KILLS my father to open his wallet, my parents house was payed off in 1960!!We lived a conservative ''save save save" lifestyle our whole lives, a minibike....."out of the question" hand me down bicycles etc etc,I used to have to beg for a quarter for a pop after hockey! He'd say "you can get a drink at home" it goes on and on.familys of kids where my Dad worked had much better things than us and remember my parents were mortgage free, no wonder I had a paper route and got my first "real job " at 14. ...........But heres what happens, all we ever heard growing up was "save for retirement" but what happens is when you scrimp and save your whole lives is that when it comes time to open up that wallet later in life you cant do it!!! you dont know HOW to go on a trip, you dont know HOW to ENJOY liesure time because it costs money. And get this......that house they payed off in 1960, the builder came along and bought the house and the property and put 37 houses on it, we thought finally, they will get the crowbar out ,open that wallet and enjoy themselves, they went on a couple of trips but thats about it and us kids were like clapping and cheering at that. I swear to god they will die with a half a mill in the bank, EZ. Good for us kids but I feel sad they didnt go out and enjoy themselves more as they are both in their 80s now. My brother, same as Dad, Cheap as hell. The way I look at it I will leave behind alot of material things, a nice house, truck and boat, some hotrod cars as apposed to cash. There will probably be some people that will be able to retire a little earlier than me but I bet at the end of itall I will blow them away in a life experience comparison.

Look at the chart with just $1000 per year. Imagine if it were just 2 or 3 times that.
My father passed away 2 years ago, We were pretty short on funds growing up and my parents were generous to a fault. My father passed away with out much money, But he had a good life. If not for siblings leeching off of my mom she would do just fine.
Teach your kids the roots of labor, don't hand them the fruits of yours. I work and have since 14, Yet I can spend money with the best of 'em. Save some -Spend Some

Actualy you have simple chioces to help grow your retirement nest egg;
1.Win the lottery

2. Get a better job so you can do both (Stop whining)

3. Lottery

4. Kill her, you cut your living expeses in half (hide the body well, you don't want to retire as a prison *****)

5. Lottery

6 Bank robbery, be carefull (See # 4)

7. Blood, and Sperm banks pay

8.Remember that movie indicent proposal? You mite have a hard time finding someone to pay a million dollars to sleep with your wife, but I'm sure you can get twenty bucks fifty thousand times!

9. Did I mention the lottery?

:eek: How many times have you been married vs. divorced. I'll bet they find the bodies in your backyard under every new addition......
Did you see the thread about the Redneck neighbor? wonder how many are in his yard.
I fed all mine to the gators in lk jessup:eek:

note to self.....

stay out of LK Jessup with Nebulous..