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An offshore adventure story by Bobthebuilder, Story 3 How I grabbed the pole position

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Old 01-26-2010, 01:27 PM
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Default An offshore adventure story by Bobthebuilder, Story 3 How I grabbed the pole position

Since I am on a bit of a roll with this story thing, I thought I would post this one before I head off to Florida for our Ft Myers Offshore club run this weekend. I kept this one relatively short but it's not short of crazy funny stuff that should bring a few laughs at my expense if nothing else. Enjoy if you have time for it.
Bob



I am sure I will regret telling this story but I happen to think that it's OK to have a little laugh at ourselves sometimes. The year was 1998 I think and my friend Steve had just bought a slightly used rather sinister looking all black 46ft Cigarette Rough Rider from Mark Adams. We arrived at the Goodland Bay Marina near Marco Island where both our boats were kept. The plan was to take several family members and friends out for a ride.

While Steve was showing the group his new boat, I said I would get my 419 Formula ready to go. He was at the fuel dock and my slip was a short distance away. I climbed aboard and started to remove a line that was tied to a pole off the starboard side. It was a tricky operation as the pole was almost 3 ft away, so with two feet on the deck and one arm against the pole I proceeded to untie the line with my one free hand. So far, so good. Soon the line was loose and the boat started to move away from the pole and I was unable to push myself back onto the boat. Before I know it, I am almost horizontal and it looked like I would soon be in the water. In the mili seconds I had to think about it, I thought maybe I can avoid getting wet by making a jump for the pole! With a leap worthy of the Olympics I managed to wrap both arms and legs around the pole much like a monkey would, I suppose.

Unfortunately for me, I slid down the pole until stopped by an encrustation of barnacles exposed by the low tide. The group soon heard my cries for help and came running. Picture this. (see pic below) I'm hanging on for dear life and this group of about 10 people are laughing hysterically at me and standing there taking pictures. I think there was some video as well that I have since lost track of. I must check You Tube when I get a chance! After they had their laugh at my expense, one of them pushed the Formula back to where I could reach it (see pic below) and somehow I manage to climb from the pole and back onto the deck without getting wet!

I knew I had hurt myself, so the next thing was to do a damage assessment. I had torn the seat out of my pants and blood was running down both legs. I had both slivers and barnacles imbedded in both cheeks. I think you know which cheeks I am referring to ! LOL. Can you imagine the embarrassment of having that removed? I remember my sister doing some of the removal with a pair of needle nose pliers. We felt a visit to the doctor was necessary to cleanse my wounds and I was given a shot as well to prevent infection. I could not sit down for several days and had to sleep on my stomach at night. Thank goodness for stand up bolsters on the Formula that allowed me to get back on the water just a day or so later.

So what are the lessons here? Dunno. All I know is, it is much too hot to wear leather pants in Florida for protection. You tell me? I can't wait to hear. LOL

The end,
Bobthepolesitter
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An offshore adventure story by Bobthebuilder, Story 3 How I grabbed the pole position-bob-pole-3.jpg   An offshore adventure story by Bobthebuilder, Story 3 How I grabbed the pole position-bob-pole-1.jpg   An offshore adventure story by Bobthebuilder, Story 3 How I grabbed the pole position-steves-cig..jpg  

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Old 01-26-2010, 03:53 PM
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Bob,
I really enjoy your stories

But this one is "OUCH" Painful.

BTW, I also have friends that would stand there and laugh first before helping me

Enjoy your trip to Marco, have a Safe boating weekend also.

My best friend has a house on the Island, right over the
highway 951 bridge off of Collier on the water
Thank you
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Old 01-26-2010, 03:58 PM
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Bob,
Another classic story, and the pics to back it up!
thanks for the laugh.

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Old 01-26-2010, 05:12 PM
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That's pretty funny!

Reminds me of something that happened to one of my customers when I was still working at the marina... It was a Saturday afternoon and I was stuck working. He was out on his boat with a bunch of friends... Late in the day you hear them coming down the river, stereo blasting (4 - 10" subs) and everyone is hootin and hollering as they pull into the slip... I believe they had the Makerena blasting....that was big in the late 90's, lol.

The owner, 3 sheets to the wind... Gracefully parks the boat, and I mean perfectly....totally hammered one of his guests (also another marina customer) proceeds to jump up on the deck...still dancing to the Makerena...to grab the two bow lines and spring lines...

He grabs the line from one piling and pushes the boat over to the other piling so he could grab the other set. As he's grabbing the other set of lines with bare feet, he looses his grip and splash down into the water he goes...but first hitting his azz on the deck before going overboard... It was hysterical...

So, since he's 3 sheets to the wind he comes up with the brilliant idea of climbing up the barnacle encrusted piling to get back on the dock... Bad move cause he immediatly cuts the bottom of both his feet... So at this point we're like ok, we gotta help this guy...

So two of us run over and fish him out of the water... He's standing on the dock, can't stand staight (retarded drunk) with bloody feet and wet clothes when he realizes the keys to his brand new Mercedes (you know, the one with the special computer chip) are now missing from his pocket......

We run up to the shop and get a 10 lb magnet and attempt to fish the keys out of the water and after 30 minutes we give up....

Poor fella but man did I have a sore stomach the next day from laughing so hard!!! His name was Jack and his nickname at the marina was "Jack-ass"......

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Old 01-26-2010, 05:44 PM
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Interesting story! Can you tell me more about that Cigarette? It looks cool in the pic.
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Old 01-26-2010, 05:47 PM
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Another great story!! Question...is that the same 46' that's listed at Jim Earle Marine?
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Old 01-26-2010, 05:58 PM
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Biggus and I were down in Miami for the Cig. poker run when the guy we were running with pulls his boat in. There was a guy helping out, I think his name is Greek Lighting on the board. The boat started to move way from the dock and he was trying to pull us back in. I told him to just let go because I knew it was a lost cause but he held on. next thing you know he is stretched out toes on the dock, hands on the rub rain and in he goes. Cell phone, wallet, you name it all soaked. He did the barnacle climb as well and cut up his feet real bad. Those freshwater guys just don't get it....

Bob you are lucky you had pants on or your azz would have been the leaste of your worries!
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Old 01-26-2010, 06:08 PM
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Bob great stories keep them coming sounds like some crap i have done in my younger days only with out the boat
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Old 01-26-2010, 06:43 PM
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You guys are all too funny. By making me laugh I can somehow justify posting more about my stupidity. Some of my closest friends are again reminding me of many other mis adventures. I want to address some of the questions posed but am off to a hockey game for a couple of hours and will check back in.
Thanks,
Bob
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Old 01-26-2010, 08:46 PM
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Bob, I am new to the forum and I keep waiting for your stories to pop up. Awesome stuff! Thanks for the lessons, and laughs told so far!
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