If Dear Abby was a man
05-09-2002, 05:11 PM
#1
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If Dear Abby was a man
Ever wondered what it would be like if Dear Abby was a man?
>
> Dear Mr. Abby:
>
> Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.
> A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there
> is only one of you, he can only settle for the next best thing - your
> best friend. Far from being an issue, this can bring you closer
> together. Why not get some of your old college roommates involved too?
> If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your
> friends without you. If you're still not sure, then just perform oral
> sex on him and cook him a nice meal, while you think about it.
>
>
> Dear Mr. Abby:
> Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.
> A.: Do it. Sperm can help you loose weight and gives a great glow to
> your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to
> perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you.
> The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day.
> Then cook him a nice meal.
>
>
> Dear Mr. Abby:
> Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
> A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The
> man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A
> night out chasing young single girls is a great stress relief and can
> foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can
> rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or
> two (it's a great time to clean the house too)! Just look at how
> emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best
> thing to do when he gets home is for you and your best friend to
> perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.
>
>
> Dear Mr. Abby:
> Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
> A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess
> with it, do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You
> may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to
> your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform
> oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal.
>
>
> Dear Mr. Abby:
> Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
> A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity
> training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex
> should be available to your husband on demand and with no pesky
> requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your
> man as much as you should - he should never have to work to get you in
> the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by
> performing oral sex on him and cooking him a nice meal.
>
>
> Dear Mr. Abby:
> Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep
> never giving me one.
> A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to
> Cook him a nice meal?
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Dear Mr. Abby:
>
> Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.
> A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there
> is only one of you, he can only settle for the next best thing - your
> best friend. Far from being an issue, this can bring you closer
> together. Why not get some of your old college roommates involved too?
> If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your
> friends without you. If you're still not sure, then just perform oral
> sex on him and cook him a nice meal, while you think about it.
>
>
> Dear Mr. Abby:
> Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.
> A.: Do it. Sperm can help you loose weight and gives a great glow to
> your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to
> perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you.
> The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day.
> Then cook him a nice meal.
>
>
> Dear Mr. Abby:
> Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
> A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The
> man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A
> night out chasing young single girls is a great stress relief and can
> foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can
> rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or
> two (it's a great time to clean the house too)! Just look at how
> emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best
> thing to do when he gets home is for you and your best friend to
> perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.
>
>
> Dear Mr. Abby:
> Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
> A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess
> with it, do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You
> may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to
> your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform
> oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal.
>
>
> Dear Mr. Abby:
> Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
> A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity
> training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex
> should be available to your husband on demand and with no pesky
> requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your
> man as much as you should - he should never have to work to get you in
> the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by
> performing oral sex on him and cooking him a nice meal.
>
>
> Dear Mr. Abby:
> Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep
> never giving me one.
> A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to
> Cook him a nice meal?
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
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