Offshoreonly.com - George Carlin speaks out.........

George Carlin Speaks Out...
>
> I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin.
>
> I like big cars, big hooters, and big paychecks. I believe the money I
> make belongs to me and my family, not some midlevel governmental
> functionary
> with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting
> out babies.
>
> I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you'd better do it in
> English. I'm not in touch with my feelings and I like it that way. I
> believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two
> parents. I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer. I want to know
> which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches. And
> where does he get his money. And why is he always part of the problem and
> not the solution.
>
> I believe if she has her lips on your willie, it is sex, and it is sex
> for
> both of you. This even applies when you are President of the United
> States.
>
> I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than
> working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to
> put your pansy ass through 4-7 years of college, you haven't begun to be
> enlightened.
>
> I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God or gods, just
> leave the rest of us out of it. This also applies to sexuality.
>
> I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason. I don't think being a
> minority makes you noble or victimized. I don't use the excuse "it's for
> the children" as a shield for unpopular opinions or actions. I think
> fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July. My heroes are John Wayne,
> the Simpsons, and whoever canceled Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman. I don't
> hate
> the rich. I don't pity the poor. I know wrestling is fake and I don't
> waste
> my time arguing about it.
>
> I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now,
> when
> I am freezing my ass through a long winter?
>
> I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years in
> the desert after getting chased out of Egypt, I haven't burned any
> witches
> or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you, so shut up already.
>
> I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're
> running from them. I also think they have the right to pull your ass over
> if
> you are breaking law, regardless of what color you are. I think if you
> are
> too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who
> should
> be running the most powerful nation of the world for the next four years.
>
> I think if you are in the passing lane, and not passing, your license
> should be revoked, and you should be forced to ride the bus until you
> promise to never delay the rest of us again.
>
> I think beef jerky could quite possibly be the perfect food. I think
> tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend
> they are a political statement. I think Dr. Seuss was a genius. I'm
> neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the
> mainstream
> media would like the world to believe otherwise.
>
> If that makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American. If you too
> are a BAD American please forward this to everyone you know.
>
> We need our country back!