OT: "The Athiest and the Bear"
 

An atheist was walking through the woods one day, admiring all that evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What a powerful river! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. Turning to look, he saw a 8 foot grizzly bear
beginning to charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could down the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was rapidly closing on him. Somehow, he ran even faster, so scared that tears came to his eyes.

He looked again and the bear was even closer. His heart pounding in his chest, he tried to run faster yet. But alas, he tripped and fell to the ground. As he rolled over to pick himself up, the bear was right over him, reaching for him with its left paw and raising its right paw to strike him.

Time stopped.


The bear froze.


The forest was silent.


Even the river stopped moving ...


As a brilliant light shone upon the man, a thunderous voice came from all around,

"You Deny My Existence For All These Years, Teach Others That I Don't Exist; And Even Credit Creation To Some Cosmic Accident. Do You Expect Me To Help You Out Of This Predictament?

Am I To Count You As A Believer???"

Difficult as it was, the atheist looked directly into the light and said, "It would be hypocritical to ask to be a Christian after all these years, but perhaps you could make the bear a Christian?"

"Very Well." said The Voice.

The light went out.

The river ran.

The sounds of the forest resumed.


.... and the bear dropped down on his knees, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke:


"Lord, thank you for this food which I am about to receive."


:D :D :p ;)

:D :D :D .5!

Rico , lighten up...RT posted a funny joke , laugh a little , and at least I posted 3 smileys for his joke , You and hi-perf only stunk up this thread with bashing...at least read his joke and respond to it..like Sydwayz did...:D :D :D

BTW , rico , I will add your name to the list of name callers

Supercrash and everyone.
I just feel compelled to respond on this one. I posted up a few smilies because I thought it was funny; as a joke.

SC, your smilies are appropriate, but I hope you can see that your comments are off-color. This is a free county at the moment, but this board is not about off-color remarks. Nothing else like that exists on this board.

RT, maybe you can just delete the the thread, and repost it, and no one will poop in the punchbowl.

WHO CARES????
 

SAVE THE DRAMA FOR YOUR MAMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JUST IGNORE HIM IF YA LIKE, YOU GUYS KNOW HE IS OFTEN OFF THE WALL SO READ HIS POSTS IF YA LIKE...???
IT IS AT YOUR OWN DISGRESSION.....

BTW, I GIVE IT A :D :D :D .5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: WHO CARES????
 

Well said. :D

And a couple of :D :D :D for the joke.

RT knows me better than anyone else on this board...he knows that I appreciate a joke more than anyone (This one rates a :D :D .25, sorry). I didn't want to "poop" on anything. 4 kids died 2 days ago here in Dallas in a bus crash as they were on their way to "church camp." I don't appreciate making light of that kind of situation. Making a hurtful comment is not justified by placing a ":D " after it.

BTW...with regard to your "list," are you going to put me in "Time out" too?

No time out for you...my bad..

Crash.....ya know what......I've grown to the point in my life where I actually look forward to your views.......

It reassures me of how lucky I am...........;)

Thanks Shorgasm...That means alot coming from a guy with his schlong pierced....;)

LMAO :D :D :D

OUCH!!! That CAN'T be true!!!! :eek:

Funny Joke, but I feel like I'm missing what you guys are bickering about?? Was it something in a different thread that I missed?

I sent that joke to the holy roller next to me at work, he busted out too... he sets bible's on my desk, I set playboys on his, he tells me I need to find god, I tell him he needs to come to the strip bar with me, the point is somehow we get along great?? You guys should get over it already, whatever it is...

Well well well........I see you've been talking to your wife again.....:eek: :eek:

Not sure if anyone was gonna figure that out........:rolleyes:

Supercrash deleted his post.

as should Rico , in his post calling me a ass

Fair is Fair...:D

Done

i also deleted mine which called S.C. a handjob.

FAIR IS FAIR

That post is cracking me up!!! LMAO!!! :D :D :D

No no Catmandon't......the reason you never hear about Atheist's being killed is that nobody cared about them in the first place..............

Stick that in your pipe and smoke it pal!!!!:rolleyes:

HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA:D :D :D This post is great!! I've been laughing my a$$ off. I guess I missed the other stuff....good. I guess if Shore (how ya' been crapholder?) is pinning his jiblet, it must have been with a screw for a pair of sunglasses.....:D

And, by the way, I've called all sorts of people all sorts of names, bet never a handjob, that's freakin' hilarious.....:D :D :D

:D :D :D :D On the joke!:cool:

Crash, that explains how you chipped your tooth. Watch those shlong rings son.

And Cat, who said God was here to protect us? From what?

Oh geeze Ron, don't get him going.

Hey Troutly, looks like I could use some malt balls!

Did someone say God? I thought the stupid ass appeals court threw God out

RT:D :D :D

I guess if you don't believe in God then its OK to lie on the witness stand.

Congratulations Cat.......You've just stooped beneath me.....

Jez dude.....I thought you said you would never do that????????

Oh well that must have been some more BS....Huh bro.....:rolleyes:

Check it out 'ole man......not even on your best day could you get the best of me........:D but I think i'll give you another shot for the night.....

GOD BLESS CATMANDO!!!!!!:)

Since this is a joke thread

"What was the last thing jesus said to the Teamsters.....?

Don't do anything till I return...
:D :D

any teamsters out there...?....breaks over...:D ;) ..

Dude...ya know what.........Nah never mind.....You know it all.....:rolleyes:

Looks like I am going to have to go to other forums than checkmate, this one is pretty cool!!!

I thought this was a family chanel.