O.T.---For the Ladie's of the board!!
07-16-2002, 11:10 AM
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O.T.---For the Ladie's of the board!!
REAL WOMEN VS. MARTHA STEWART
Martha's way #1:
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
The Real Women's Way:
Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a
year.
Martha's way #2:
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice
cream drips.
The Real Women's Way:
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You
are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway.
Martha's way #3:
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry
cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the
cake.
The Real Women's Way:
Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate it for you.
Martha's way #4:
If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a
peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix me up."
The Real Women's Way:
If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too damn bad.
Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: I made it and you will eat it
and I don't care how bad it tastes.
Martha's way #5:
Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will
keep for weeks.
The Real Women's Way:
Celery? Never heard of the stuff.
Martha's way #6:
Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a
beautiful glossy finish.
The Real Women's Way:
The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over
the crust so I just don't do it.
Martha's way #7:
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead.
The throbbing will go away.
The Real Women's Way:
Take a lime, mix it with tequila, etc., chill and drink. You might still
have the headache, but who cares?
Martha's way #9:
If you have a problem opening jars: Try using latex dishwashing gloves. They
give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
The Real Women's Way:
Go ask the very cute neighbor to do it.
And finally the most important tip:
Martha's way #10:
Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use
in casseroles and sauces.
The Real Women's Way:
Leftover wine??????
Enjoy drinking the last drop of the wine!
Martha's way #1:
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
The Real Women's Way:
Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a
year.
Martha's way #2:
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice
cream drips.
The Real Women's Way:
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You
are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway.
Martha's way #3:
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry
cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the
cake.
The Real Women's Way:
Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate it for you.
Martha's way #4:
If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a
peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix me up."
The Real Women's Way:
If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too damn bad.
Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: I made it and you will eat it
and I don't care how bad it tastes.
Martha's way #5:
Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will
keep for weeks.
The Real Women's Way:
Celery? Never heard of the stuff.
Martha's way #6:
Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a
beautiful glossy finish.
The Real Women's Way:
The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over
the crust so I just don't do it.
Martha's way #7:
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead.
The throbbing will go away.
The Real Women's Way:
Take a lime, mix it with tequila, etc., chill and drink. You might still
have the headache, but who cares?
Martha's way #9:
If you have a problem opening jars: Try using latex dishwashing gloves. They
give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
The Real Women's Way:
Go ask the very cute neighbor to do it.
And finally the most important tip:
Martha's way #10:
Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use
in casseroles and sauces.
The Real Women's Way:
Leftover wine??????
Enjoy drinking the last drop of the wine!
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